"You Can't Marry Someone You Just Met, Anna!"

"Love can't always be perfect. Love is just love." 

I don't believe in Soul Mates.
I do not think that there is one perfect person out there for everyone.
In my mind, two people are not destined to be together, no matter their situation.

I believe in love, but not in Soul Mates.

In the movie "Ever After," Prince Henry  is having trouble believing that there is only one perfect match.

Henry: Do you really think there is only one perfect mate?
Leonardo da Vinci: As a matter of fact, I do.
Henry: How can you be certain to find them? And if you do find them, are they really the one for you or do you only think they are? And what happens if the person you're supposed to be with never appears, or, or she does, but you're too distracted to notice?Leonardo da Vinci: You learn to pay attention. 
Henry: Then let's say God puts two people on Earth and they are lucky enough to find one another. But one of them gets hit by lightning. Well then what? Is that it? Or, perchance, you meet someone new and marry all over again. Is that the lady you're supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or, was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance or are some things meant to be?" 

Prince Henry has some valid questions.

Like I said earlier, I believe in love, I just don't believe in Soul Mates. I think the euphoric feeling you get when you're in love can make it seem as if you've found the one perfect person with whom you are supposed to spend the rest of your life; but I don't believe that we each have that one special person. I think love is hard work. It's messy. It's frustrating, annoying, and wonderful. Finding someone who understands you, gets your sense of humor, knows what makes you fighting mad, and is still willing to stand by your side no matter what, THAT is wonderful. But that doesn't happen in the blink of an eye. You might meet your ideal person, but unless both of you are willing to put in the effort that it takes to get to know each other on a more substantial level, then what good is it? "Oh yes, I met my perfect man, but we never talk. We have the same values, and he is great looking. But there is no real connection." That's not love. That's a decent roommate.

It is possible to fall in love successfully with anyone, as long as both of you are willing to work for it. If you are giving it your all, and the other person is just glad to have someone fawn over them, that is unrequited love, and (in my opinion) not successful. Some days you'll be so frustrated with your honey that you just want to strangle him. Pushing past that feeling and working to better the situation for both people is part of love. It isn't easy, but it's worth it.

Personally, I think this idea of a Soul Mate is one reason for relationships not lasting. People get so wrapped up in believing that meeting "The One" will magically make their life infinitely better. Yet, the first time there is any trouble at all in the relationship, they get scared and run away in search of the perfect partner. Instead of staying and fighting for a good relationship, they give up and look for someone else to make their lives easier. Granted, this isn't the only reason that relationships fail, but I think it at least part of it.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in love. I believe in falling in love. I'm a romantic at heart. I just don't think that there is ONE person for each of us. I do, however, believe that two people can have so much in common, have such a good time together, and fall in love so much that they FEEL like there is no one else in the world for them. No one else can push their buttons the same way, no one else can make them laugh as hard, no one else makes them feel special in that unique way. But it isn't magic, or fate. It is just love.

A lot of people scoff when I tell them my opinion. They say that I'm cynical because I haven't found "The One" for me yet, and that I will change my mind when it finally happens. Maybe they are right, (I don't think so, but hey, it could happen.) P!nk might have it right when she sings "I'm not a victim of cliches / I don't believe is soulmates / happy endings or "The One" / But then I met you and all that changed / I had a taste and you're still sitting on the tip of my tongue."  But for now, I'll continue believing in love instead of soul mates.

Do you believe in Soul Mates? How do you feel about Love At First Sight? Do you think two people are destined to be together despite everything, or is it all left to chance? How do you know that you've found The One for you? As always, I look forward to what you have to say.

Happy Valentine's Day, I love you all!