A few weeks ago I wrote the post "In a game of truth or dare, I always picked truth." In that post, I mentioned that I don't think of myself as brave and I asked for comments or suggestions on activities that I should do to increase my bravery.
One of the comments requested that I ask someone random out on a date. Well this is the update on my random date. I hope you enjoy.
A while back I was at a work event where multiple businesses presented information and tried to get students interested in them for the future. At this function, a man that I'd met briefly at another function kept making a point to talk to me. Now (according to a friend) I normally have "the flirting observance and ability of a spork"; however, on that particular day I was with a friend who pointed out that this man, Miles, was hitting on me.
After talking a little (and finding out that he wasn't a complete creeper) Miles asked me on a date. A little hesitant, but remembering my challenge, I agreed to the date. To my credit, I didn't let him pick me up at my house, and we met in a crowded area during the daylight hours so that I would feel more at ease.
The date went well enough: not my best first date, but not my worst, either. We had dinner and walked around downtown looking at the new decorations and listening to street performers. That part was fine. What was unsettling was all the information he was divulging about his life. He told me that he was 36 years old, had been married and divorced twice, he had a daughter with one of his wives but that they ran away years ago and he hadn't been able to find them. He also said that he had been in the Marines for years and was suffering from PTSD, and that's why he wanted to go out with me: I reminded him of his mother and he knew that I could help take care of him and all his problems.
That wasn't everything he told me, but you get the idea. Needless to say, I was ready to call it a night. I was on information overload and my "Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!" warning was going off in my mind. I'm sure he was a good man and just needed help with his life. But he needed this help in the form of a therapist, not a date.
The date comes to an end, and I evade answering his question about a second date. I make it home and promptly tell the friend who encouraged me to go on the date that she is not allowed to suggest I go on dates ever again. Sure, a spork might be able to flirt better than I can, but I don't need to practice flirting so badly that I go on dates where I feel completely uncomfortable. I'll just wait to go on a date where I can be myself and things come naturally. I won't have to force myself to flirt or make a connection. I can be the best version of myself instead of taking cues from other people about how to be them and work through a date.
So even though this random date didn't end with a "Happily Ever After," I think it still qualifies for boosting my bravery and doing something outside of my usual routine. I definitely felt pushed past my comfort level: I went on a random date, had several awkward conversations, and was compared to my dates mother. But I still made it home at the end of the night and was able to celebrate that little victory with pie. So all in all, it wasn't a horrendous experience. Like I said, not my best date, but also not my worst.
Do you have any funny, ridiculous, embarrassing first-date stories? How would you have handled being on this date that I described? Do you think I should have agreed to the date in the first place since I was hesitant, or do you think I did the right thing by being brave and going out? As always, I can't wait to hear what you have to say.
