Consider Your Audience

I can pretty much guarantee that every English teacher in the history of the world has touched on this subject. But that is only the case because it is such an important subject: consider your audience. It sounds simple enough, sure. But most people do not go into detail about how to consider your audience, and how to grab their attention. "You always want to engage your the person you're talking to. Make them want to listen to you." We've all heard that. But there are never real-world examples to go along with this message. Luckily, I'm here to help you out with your Talking-to-the-Audience needs.

First off, use a nice tone. No one wants to have a conversation with someone who is yelling at them. If you struggle with this, pretend that you are a receptionist at a major corporation, and talk to someone with the same tone and sense of respect that you would a customer. It also helps if you smile when you talk; it's really hard to have an angry-tone while smiling. (Go ahead, try.) Part of this nice tone means cutting back on the cussing. Not cussing at all would be ideal, but I understand that cuss words are just part of the vernacular in some places, so just be careful which words you use around certain people (such as kids). I'm a big girl, and I've heard my fair share of cussing (between dating a sailor and working with some rough characters, I've heard more than my fair share!), so it doesn't bother me when an occasional cuss word slips in, but having a string of pointless swear words in your statement seems asinine and like you are trying to sound more important than you really are. You'll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar. Trust me. 

Next: maintain eye contact. Dr. Seuss said it best: "A person is a person, no matter how small."
No matter who you're talking to, look at them. Look directly in their eyes and speak to them. Your eyes should not wander behind the other person, trying to find something more interesting to look at. That's rude. If they are important enough to talk to, then they deserve the respect of being looked in the eyes. Also, don't scan their body; I know it's tempting sometimes to check out the person you're talking to, and for your eyes to rest on their best physical feature. That's rude, too. You may think it's a form of flattery to look a girl up and down, checking her body out, but I'm willing to bet that she wishes your eyes were focused on her eyes. The same goes for talking to guy: don't treat them like a piece of meat. If you're talking to them, look at them, see them as a person, and actually talk to them. Don't talk AT them while looking them over. (If they break eye contact for some reason, then it is acceptable to check them out, but when they turn back to you, you should be looking in their eyes.)

I know we live in a time when electronic devices rule the world, but nothing irritates me in the same way as having a conversation with someone and for them to start playing on their phone, or ipod or whatever. It doesn't matter what the device is, it matters that it is put away while talking to people. Whether you initiate the conversation, or someone starts talking to you makes no difference; you should put your music on pause, take a break from your "Words with Friends" game, let that text message wait until you are done talking. If someone takes the time to talk to you, then you should have the time to respect them and actually listen to what they are saying (as opposed to playing your online games and simply nodding your head when they take a break from talking). I understand if you have to take a phone call during a conversation, but once again, treat the person you're talking to with some respect: tell them that you have to take this phone call, apologize, take a step back from there so that you aren't having a different conversation in their face, get off the phone as soon as possible, and then resume the conversation you were having prior to the phone ringing.
Some of you want to argue with me on this point, saying that you are a wonderful multi-tasker, and can do all these different things while still paying attention to the person you're talking to. My response: It doesn't matter. I don't care if you're the best multi-tasker in the world, I still think it's rude to put meaningless objects, especially technology, ahead of people, especially those standing in front of you vying for your attention. Just put your phone down and have a face-to-face conversation. Odds are it will do you good.


These may seem like simple tips, but you would be surprised at how many people don't follow these basic rules.Children, teenagers, and adults alike are guilty of disregarding these common-courtesy rules. I promise that if one person follows all of these rules, the conversation will improve at least 20%. Imagine how much things would improve if everyone involved in the conversation were to follow all these tips.Trust me when I say that by following these rules, people will be more interested in what you have to say. So what do you think about these helpful hints? Do you think most people abide by these rules, or should they take a trip to Courtesy Class and learn how to follow these guidelines? Do you think these three simple tips are sufficient, or are there other rules that need enforcing? Are you guilty of abandoning these rules of courtesy in favor of multitasking? Let me know what you think.