I'm not stupid; I know that I'm not the perfect woman. Jaws don't drop when I walk into a room. I'm not the girl that "all guys want to date, and all girls want to be best friends with." I have no illusions to the contrary.
However, I don't deserve to be treated as a backup plan.
Don't make plans to hang out with me and then back out because you got a better offer.
Don't sweet-talk me and tell me that I'm beautiful one day, and the next day completely ignore me because someone prettier caught your eye.
Don't tell me that you miss me and wish you could hold me, all the while messaging dozens of girls the same thing.
When hanging out with me, if you see people you know, don't be ashamed of me. Actually introduce me to your friends instead of leaving me in the background awkwardly while you talk.
Whatever you do, just don't make me feel like I'm the alternative; I don't want to be your "Poor-Man's Mary." Don't tell me that you want something better, but will settle for me because I'm the cheaper version (metaphorically speaking, of course). This is a terrible for feeling for anyone to experience. I don't have a lot to say for this post: I guess my heart hurts just enough that I want to get my point across without really gushing about it. I just know that when you make me feel like the backup plan, I feel like I've done something wrong: I blame myself for not being good enough, I get angry, I'm ashamed, and I'm disheartened. No one should feel like they aren't good enough to be a priority. Nobody.
This is really amazing. I wish I could say I was the nice guy that always cherished and respected each women that has walked into my life, but I can't. I'm guilty of being the very person you depicted. Some of my friends didn't understand why one of my ex's acted the way she did, they just wrote her off as crazy. I knew that this was a big source of her insecurities and jealousy and needs. The stemed from the way I treated her. So I ended it. I knew I was hurting her and myself because I was treating her as second best, a backup plan, despite loving her some part of me wouldn't allow her to be enough. I think that if I wasn't able to make her a priority then I did the right thing by ending things, to end both our suffering.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think?
Matty, I love you.
DeleteIt takes a big man to admit that he's done something like that. I definitely think you did the right thing by ending the relationship since you felt that you were treating her as a second option. It might have hurt her at the time, but in the long run it was better for you to break up than for her to continue feeling like she wasn't good enough and being insecure. That's my opinion, at least.