Apparently I'm an Alpha-Female

Those of you who know me or have just kept up with my posts know that I support strong women. Whether it's Wonder Woman, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Debbie the serial killer from "The Addams Family" movie, or the mom from the song "Harper Valley PTA" by Jeannie C. Riley, I completely respect women who are able to support themselves, stand up for themselves as well as others, and show a strong sense of character no matter the situation.
I like to fancy myself as a strong woman. I know that I have flaws and don't always do the right thing, but I would like to think that I can take care of myself (and others) in any given circumstance. However, even having this vision of myself as a strong female, I never thought of myself as an Alpha Female...

One day during my senior year of college, I was walking from a class back to my residence hall when I hear someone call my name. Now, I went to a medium-sized university, where I knew about 80% of the student population, so it wasn't unusual for someone to yell at me from across campus. I hear my name again, but this time it is closer. I look around and see a few people that I recognize, but none that are yelling for me. I turn around and continue walking, thinking that this mysterious person was yelling for a different Katelyn, when this young man walks up to me and says, "Hi, Katelyn."

Earlier I mentioned that I knew about 80% of the students on campus. This guy was one of the few that I didn't know. I had never seen him before, I didn't know his name, I couldn't even place him as being a friend of a friend of an acquaintance. But he definitely knew who I was. Shocked that he knew me and I had no idea who he was, I stopped in my tracks and listened to what he had to say.

Guy: How was your Senior Seminar class?
Katelyn: It was fine...How did you know I was just in Senior Seminar?
Guy: I know all about you. I actually just called you over to let you know that I am writing a paper over you for my Freshman Psychology class. I figured that since I'm writing about you, the decent thing to do would be to let you know I'm writing about you.
Katelyn: Umm...what?
Guy: Yeah, I'm writing about how you are an Alpha Female. I see you all over campus, and how people just respond to you. You always have a positive attitude, but you don't take crap from anyone. You really are a take-charge kind of woman, so I'm writing my paper over you.
Katelyn: I'm not sure....I don't....How do you know....Huh...?
Guy: Okay, bye!

And with that, he left. With a smile on his face, he bounced away, never once looking back. And I just stood there stunned for a moment. It took me a while to process what this guy had said: a guy that I had never met knew about me, my schedule, and my personality, and he was going to write a paper about me for a class. Thinking it was a joke, I looked around to see if friends were hiding behind trees laughing because of the amazing prank they pulled on me. I was hoping that they were just trying to give  Ashton Kutcher and the creators of  Punk'd a run for their money. Unfortunately, there was no one around.

Flipping out a little, I go tell my roommate about what just happened. She agrees that it was a strange encounter, but says that I probably know the guy and don't remember. I nod in agreement hoping that it will put my mind at ease, all the while knowing that I have never met this guy.

A few weeks pass and I don't hear from him. I get so wrapped up in finishing my Thesis and other classwork that I honestly forget about the entire thing. One day, however, this young man is standing in front of me as I walk onto my front porch. (Let me tell you, I felt like this guy was part of a real-life pop-up book and I was kind of terrified.) Once again shocked, I stood there listening to what he had to say; granted, I was thinking of all my escape routes and doing a mental inventory of all the weapons I had with me in case things got bad, but for all he could tell I was just standing there listening to him.

Guy: Hey Katelyn. I just wanted to let you know that I finished my paper about you.
Katelyn: Okay...
Guy: I got an A on it, in case you were wondering. My professor said that you were an interesting case; definitely an Alpha Female. He had to ask me if I embellished on the details of a few of the anecdotal stories of yours that I included because they are so outrageous. But he was more impressed when I told him that no embellishments were needed. That was all you.
Katelyn: ...what stories..?
Guy: Oh it doesn't matter now. But I need to be headed towards my next class. See you around.
Katelyn: ...wait! How do I know you?!
Guy: You don't. Bye!

And once again, this mysterious man was gone. I haven't seen him around campus since.

I'm not sure if he wanted to become one of my outrageous stories, or if he seriously thought I was that interesting, or what was going on with him. But I would absolutely love to read what Guy wrote about me. Also, I'd like to know which stories he used and how he even found out about them; if he thought I was such an interesting case, why didn't he talk to me himself, instead of creepily watching me from around campus?
I can't decide if I'm more flattered that he thought I was an Alpha Female and wanted to write about me, or more creeped out because of the way he chose to go about it. Either way, I feel like this just adds to my arsenal of "Only Katelyn" stories. Who else has someone pop-up out of nowhere to inform them that the other person is writing a character analysis (basically) over them for a college-level Psych class? If there is anyone out there with the same issue, I would love to hear about it.
As always, I can't wait to hear what you have to say!

I'm Kind of a Tech-Not

As many of my readers have mentioned, it has been a while since I have posted anything new. I want to apologize for that, but at the same time let you know that it isn't that I wasn't writing because I was bored with writing. I wasn't able to write or post because my computer died. Completely. I couldn't run any programs, it wouldn't connect to the internet, and the screen blacked out. Basically, my computer usage was severely limited. Since my computer went kaput, I have been doing a little research trying to figure out the best computer to replace it. Believe it or not, I don't use the computer for many things. I talk to friends on Facebook, check my emails, listen to music, and write my blog. That's about it. I don't play computer video games (League of Legends, World of Warcraft, anything like that), I don't randomly search the internet to see what I can find, I don't use fancy programs that require a lot of storage. I just need the basics.

So here is the start of my rant....

Why is it so difficult to get the basics when it comes to technology? I have no need for a super-computer. I wouldn't have the first idea about how to use it; however, despite explaining this to sales associates, and even tech-savvy friends, they all still try to convince me that I need to upgrade from what I was using previously. I say "Nay-Nay!" If what I had performed every job that I needed it to, why would I want to pay extra money for all the bells and whistles that I will never use? That makes absolutely no sense to me.
"But Katelyn, it has all these cool features, and you can download apps, and watch movies and stuff."
I literally couldn't care less about all those things. I think technology is over-used anyway, (I prefer in-person contact), so why would I buy a device that sucks me deeper into the Technological World and pulls me away from real-life contact...? This goes for everything from computers, to cell phones, m-pods or i-p3s, tablets, and all the other types of technology that I don't know about.

I didn't get a cell phone until I moved into college. But even then, I started off with a pre-pay service using TracFone. My phone will make calls, and send/receive text messages. That's all I need it to do. It's been five years, and I'm still using TracFone. Friends ask why I don't upgrade to a "real cell phone carrier" because they are so much better. Once again, I don't understand why I should get a phone with more on it to distract me and pay $80 a month or more when I can pay the same $80 and buy minutes that will last me an entire year. I don't want to be able to surf the web on my phone, I don't need games on my phone. I have a busy life, so those things would just get in my way. My dinky little phone has done everything I need it to, and works when other people's smart phones have shut down on them.

I realize that I have probably wasted my breath on this rant, living in the Age of Technology and all, but I really don't see the point of upgrading just to upgrade. Don't get me wrong, technology is helpful and has its place, but it shouldn't consume your entire life. I believe we should unplug and get outside to play with our kids; sit down and write a hand-written to a friend instead of sending a chain-email; use social media to coordinate when you are meeting with friends, but don't make it the only place that you "see" them.

So, does anyone else feel the same way about technology, or am I the only person left who hasn't been sucked into the world of Candy Crush, Twitter, and SnapChat? Do you automatically upgrade your phone every six months because a newer version of your phone was just released? Is there a room in your house dedicated to all things electronic? Am I stuck in the Stone Ages, or do you think I have a point? I can't wait to hear what you have to say.

26 Books in 1 Summer

I'm not a big reader. Books usually put me to sleep. Literally. I fall asleep every time I pick up a book. That made it really difficult to get through college, especially my Senior Theory class. (*cough* Paul *cough*). There were several times when I would start on my reading assignment, and the next thing I knew, my roommate was waking me up, my face plastered to the textbook. Reading just isn't something I enjoy. Given the option between music and reading, I would take the music every time.

However, every once in a while a book will catch my interest and actually keep me awake. Janet Evanovich is an author that does just that. Author of the "One For the Money" (the Stephanie Plum series) and "Wicked Appetite" (the Lizzie and Diesel series), Janet is a terrific writer. She writes characters with depth to them, who get into crazy situations, and have a remarkable wit about them.

Stephanie Plum is a female bounty hunter who finds herself in all kinds of mind-boggling situations: burning down funeral homes, chasing alligators down alleyways, body-slamming criminals, having her car fire-bombed. She is in on-again/off-again relationships with a cop named Morelli (the boy next door who grew up to be the good guy next door), and an ex-military man named Ranger (who is a mostly good guy with bad-guy tendencies). He partner in crime is an ex-hooker who is street smart, but doesn't always have the best control over her attitude. With the combination of characters, there is no limit to the kinds of trouble that Stephanie Plum finds herself in.

The Lizzie and Diesel series is a little more...supernatural. Lizzie is a cupcake maker going about her normal routine when a dangerously handsome man named Diesel waltzes into her life and messes everything up. He tells Lizzie that she has paranormal abilities of locating magically enhanced objects, and that she must help him locate stones that represent the 7 deadly sins. Living in Salem, Massachusetts only adds to the spooky factor of the storyline, but once again, Janet Evanovich creates characters that you would be hard-pressed to forget with circumstances that make you bust out laughing.



As a not-so-avid-reader, I know that it seems silly for me to be recommending books to you; however, when a book can make me literally laugh out loud, and feel invested in the characters' lives, I believe it is a book worth a recommendation. Let me put it this way: I don't enjoy reading, but I read 26 books in one summer that were all written by Janet Evanovich. That alone should tell you how interesting they are. So go out, pick up a book, and laugh until your side hurts.  You can thank me later.



Still not convinced? Here are a few quotes from Janet's books:

"I didn't want to burst his bubble, but the only time Ranger wouldn't look out of place would be standing in a lineup between Rambo and Batman."

"Don't let Grandma play with my gun!"

"There was no good way to tell my mother I was being stalked by a homicidal drag queen."

"I'm a Catholic by birth, but in my own personal religion, the Trinity will forever be the Father, the Son, and the Holy Jelly Donut."

"I can walk 3 miles in 4-inch heels and I can shop Morelli in the ground, but I don't do running."

"Calories don't count if they're connected to a celebration. Everyone knows that."

"Sometimes it's good to have an ex-hooker as a crime-fighting partner."

I Love You, But Don't Touch Me...

I get along with most everyone. I'm friends with people who call themselves Goths, as well as Preppy kids, and everyone in between. And I care for all of them. However, I show my affection in more of a verbal way: I compliment them, tell them how wonderful they are, how great they look, how amazing their laugh is, stuff like that. I'm not a hugger.

To be honest, hugging is weird for me.
I was never big on giving out hugs in the first place, but when I got a little older hugs made me really uncomfortable. When guys would hug me, more often than not, they would try get handsy, and I was not okay with that. And when hugging another female, our chests were at the same level, so there was lots of (for lack of a better word) smooshing going on, and once again, I was not comfortable with that. So I just started avoiding hugs.

 
Like my Papa, when a hug is needed, I usually give one-armed, to-the-side hugs. This way the other person still gets their physical affection, but I don't have to compromise my personal space bubble. Even with my closest family, I don't give big bear hugs.


Now, I've gotten better about giving hugs; I've learned how to hug without relinquishing my comfort. I still use the one-armed hug when someone needs a hug but I'm still hesitant to step out of my bubble. I give two-armed, but not tight hugs to friends. Two-armed, tight hugs are reserved for my family, best friends and kids. There are even a few people who pick me up and spin me around when hugging because I'm so comfortable with them (but those people are truly unique and have known me for a LONG time. So, for your own safety, don't try that.)


So maybe I'm a little weird when it comes to hugging and showing physical affection. But there is something that just bothers me about giving hugs. After having a fun night out with a very close friend of mine, he leaned in to give me a hug and I literally said, "I love you, but don't touch me..." In short, if you have ever gotten a really good hug from me, you should consider yourself lucky. I don't give those out to just anybody.


Does anyone else find hugging odd? Are you comfortable hugging certain people over others? Would you rather tell someone how much you care for them and how wonderful they are rather than give a hug? What do you think about my reasons for why hugging is weird for me: has anyone else noticed that? As always, I'm curious to see what you have to say!

I Don't Have Time for "Perfect"

I'm one of those people that tries her absolute best on everything she does. I push past realistic boundaries until I've done all I can physically do to complete a task; that being said, I am nowhere near perfect. I have a temper, my hair is usually a mess, I forgive too quickly but have trouble trusting people, I wear my emotions on my sleeves, I pull my hair out when I get nervous, I drive too fast, and I can't find shirts that fit right. Like I said, I'm not even close to being perfect, but I try to do the best with what I have.

Maybe all of the aforementioned faults are what make me so annoyed when I see someone who is "Perfect." (Yes, I know that no one is *actually* perfect, but there are those people who would have you think otherwise...) Their hair is always in place, their makeup is flawless, their teeth are straight and bleached white, their clothes are always neat, their manicure is on point, their life is completely organized and everything seems to be going right for them.
I CAN'T STAND THAT!

There are two reasons that people like this get under my skin.
1. Their life really is as good as it seems. They haven't had to endure the hardships that most other people have gone through, and they don't know what it's like to have a hard time. Everything has been handed to them on a silver platter and they haven't had to experience the "downs" that come with life.
If that's the case, then we have absolutely nothing in common. You will not understand the struggles that I've gone through to make me the person I am, when you were born as a shining star.

OR

2. Their life is just as hard as the rest of ours, but they aren't comfortable enough with themselves to show who they really are. They spend hours preparing themselves, and putting on this facade so that other people will think better of them. Now, don't get me wrong: there is nothing wrong with dressing up and having your life together; however, if you spend more time making it look like your life is together than you do actually living your life, then what's the point? You are more invested in what others think instead of how you feel about you. You feel like you aren't good enough to show what you consider your "dark side" (your stubbornness, singing off key, going without makeup, whatever it may be) because it isn't the absolute best.

I may not be perfect, but I'm always me. I'm real. I'm sweet, I'm stubborn, I dance while driving my car, I laugh too loud, I sound like a pterodactyl when I hiccup, I get my feelings hurt and my life is an Awkward Turtle. But you can always count on me being me. Are you always you?


"Today you are you, That is truer than true. There is no one alive Who is youer than you."
~Dr. Seuss

"But I Am Le Tired"

Is anyone else completely exhausted?
Seriously.


I've heard it said that "if you're an adult, and you aren't tired all the time, then you aren't doing it right." But the amount of tired that I'm experiencing is absolutely ridiculous. And surely I can't be the only person who feels this way; between my friends who are married and have kids, those who are working on their Doctorate, those struggling to graduate from college, and everyone else going through their own issues, there HAS to be a ton of people that are totally wiped out.



I'm proud to say that I work hard. Every day. Even if I'm not at work, I work hard. I know that working the way I do is cause for me to be tired at the end of the day. But to be perpetually tired..? To wake up just as worn out as when you laid down? To go through your day like a zombie because, no matter how many cups of coffee you drink, you just can't seem to wake up? That seems like over-doing it to me.



Granted, I would rather wear out than to rust out; however, that does not mean that I want to be the first one to wear out. Every now and again I would like a day to just sleep in as late as possible. I just want to stay in comfy pants all day and not feel guilty about it. One day to not leave my house, not put any makeup on to impress other people. All I ask for is one day with no responsibilities so I can have fun in my own way: whether that is watching classic Disney movies all day, going on a road-trip with a friend, playing in the park with my kids, or simply laying in the grass making shapes out of the moving clouds, I just want a day here and there to be me, and catch up on rest.



I wish I could write more about this, but I can't. I'm literally so tired that I can't form the words. So, before my sleep-deprived causes me to write in incoherent babbles, does anybody else feel this way? Are you as tired as I am?

You Make Me Feel Like a Poor-Man's Mary

I'm not stupid; I know that I'm not the perfect woman. Jaws don't drop when I walk into a room. I'm not the girl that "all guys want to date, and all girls want to be best friends with." I have no illusions to the contrary.
However, I don't deserve to be treated as a backup plan.



Don't make plans to hang out with me and then back out because you got a better offer.


Don't sweet-talk me and tell me that I'm beautiful one day, and the next day completely ignore me because someone prettier caught your eye.

 
Don't tell me that you miss me and wish you could hold me, all the while messaging dozens of girls the same thing.


When hanging out with me, if you see people you know, don't be ashamed of me. Actually introduce me to your friends instead of leaving me in the background awkwardly while you talk.



Whatever you do, just don't make me feel like I'm the alternative; I don't want to be your "Poor-Man's Mary." Don't tell me that you want something better, but will settle for me because I'm the cheaper version (metaphorically speaking, of course). This is a terrible for feeling for anyone to experience. I don't have a lot to say for this post: I guess my heart hurts just enough that I want to get my point across without really gushing about it. I just know that when you make me feel like the backup plan, I feel like I've done something wrong: I blame myself for not being good enough, I get angry, I'm ashamed, and I'm disheartened. No one should feel like they aren't good enough to be a priority. Nobody.