I know that I'm 22 years old. I know that I have not gone out and explored every aspect of the world. I know that I'm not the smartest, the bravest, the prettiest, or the best at everything. At anything for that matter. I know all of that. I also know that I am a good person and put my best effort forth on everything I do. I may not be as old as you and have the same worldly experiences; I may not have the Doctorate Degree that you have, but this in no way gives you the right to talk-down to me.
This idea that some people have of themselves as being better than everyone around them is absolutely ridiculous. Let me repeat that last part. Absolutely Ridiculous. If you think that you are so important that you get to belittle those around you because they aren't of the same status (however you might measure that), then you have another thing coming. The homeless man, the single mom, the lawyer. None of these people are more important than anyone else, and none of them deserve to feel degraded.
I don't like seeing people mistreated and talked-down to. I really hate it when people start talking to me in this way. As soon as a person switches on the condescending-tone, I can literally feel my blood pressure rise. I have to clench my fists and force a smile onto my face so that I don't go Crazy-White-Girl on them. In fact, this has happened so many times lately that I'm half-afraid that I will have a heart attack because my blood pressure stays so high.
My recent endeavors have led to meet with many new people over the last few months. During this time most people ask me what I'm doing with my time. I mention that I have recently graduated from Eastern Kentucky University with a Bachelor's degree in Sociology. This is when the condescending-tone-switch is flipped. "What are you going to do with that? Shouldn't you have picked a major that would help you do something with your life? How can you have a real career with a degree like that?"
I didn't choose a course of study that was automatically transferable to "real-world" jobs (such as nursing, or teaching); however, I choose a field that I enjoy. I like people-watching and understanding why groups of people act the way they do. And that is something I can use in any setting. So, while my degree is not up to your standard, take comfort in knowing that I didn't ask for your opinion or approval when I decided what to do with my life.
That brings me to my next point...
After I say that I have just graduated, the follow-up question is always "What are you doing career-wise?" Don't get me wrong, I don't mind answering that question. I have no problem telling people that I am working to pay off my student loans, but am not entirely sure what I will do after that. What grinds my gears is that those people go back to their condescending-tone and talk to me like I have an IQ of 12 simply because I do not have precise career ambitions. When they ask me what I wanted to be "when I grew up" [and that's another thing I hate: I'm grown. Just because I'm younger than you doesn't mean that I am an infant and incapable of doing things on my own] and I answer them honestly (1 because I hate lying, and 2 because I'm really bad at lying) by saying that the only long-term life choice I've ever had was to be a Momma, they laugh. That's right. They ask me a question, I answer, and they laugh at me. I don't care who you are, if someone laughed at your life ambitions, no matter what they may be, I'm fairly certain that you would be upset, and rightfully so! I express that I want to have children of my own and take care of them: love them, make them laugh, dry their eyes after they have cried, and teach them how to be a good person, and the rest of the world scoffs. They purse their lips into a smug smirk believing that they are better than I am, raise an eyebrow at how ridiculous they think I am being, and saunter off because they consider themselves a better person for the simple fact that they have an "actual career." This mindset of being better than someone, especially based on employment, makes me fighting mad. Just because you don't understand what is important in another person's life does not give you the right to talk-down to them or make them feel inferior. No. Just no. Once again, I didn't ask your permission about how to live my life, nor did I ask for your comments about it. I answered the question you asked me, and should not have to defend myself to your criticisms.
Even just writing about this gets me mad. I........I don't.....I don't even know what else to say. There is no reason to talk to anyone like they are stupid. You might not understand the reasons behind their life choices, and you might not agree with the decisions they make. But that does not give you the right to belittle anyone. If you do, it will anger the people around you,and ultimately make them trust and respect you less. Also, if you do this to anyone and I am around to see it, I will call you out on it. Don't make me do that to you. I promise it won't be pretty. It will end looking something like this:
What do you think? Am I being too touchy about this? What is your opinion about me wanting to be a Momma? What bothers you most when people start talking to you like you're stupid? How do you handle the situation? Let me know what you think.
Hey,
ReplyDeleteI understand where you're coming from. When people treat me like I don't know up from down, it bothers me a bit, but I can deal with it sometimes, so here's my perspective:
Some people belittle me out of ignorance. They've made hasty decisions about what I'm like without really thinking about how accurate they are. They don't know what I am capable of because they don’t have much experience around me, and I can't say anything to them to magically convince them of my abilities because people's initial impressions of others are so resistant to change. I have to gradually show these people what I can do, and it takes a lot more time to correct false impressions than it took for them to form.
Sometimes, it fixes itself naturally without even trying; you just keep doing things the way you normally do so those people can get pieces of a real picture of you.
If you see them regularly, then you'll have the time and opportunities to show them your talents, and, as they finish the picture, they won't have a reason talk down to you. Just be patient with them.
If you don’t see them much, well, I guess their opinion of you isn’t that important as long as you know what you can do. It is your life, and you don't need everyone to know exactly who you are in order to make it a good one.
Maybe you'll meet people who talk down to you to make themselves feel better, but I'd try not to their insecurities bother me. They just have problems they don't know how to deal with. When they mature a little, they may reconsider what they've said in the past.
Well, that's my take on it anyway. What do you think?