Socially Awkward Willyam

Last week I took a shortcut with my post. I gave you all something to talk about, sure, but most of the information was from Glynis McCants the Numerologist (for more information see the post "So, Listen....Can I Have Yo Numba?!") To make up for it this week, I'm posting an Only-Katelyn story. This one has all the complications that come with going on a date in addition to my unfortunate-yet-entertaining luck, so that should keep my readers interested. Here's hoping you enjoy reading, but never encounter Willyam The Socially Awkward.

Willyam first asked me on a date via Facebook. That isn't a big deal considering that most of my communication is done with Facebook's help, and most people use technology to talk to each other rather than actually talking to each other. What struck me as odd was where he wanted to meet for our first date: he wanted to meet in downtown Louisville at a park at 9:00pm close to the river bottoms. STRIKE ONE! I agreed to meet him, but on the condition that we changed the place and the time. Instead of his plan, I suggested that we meet at a local mall on a Sunday afternoon (this way there were lots of people around, it was daylight, I knew where I was, and I had to leave by a certain time for church. It worked out perfectly!) It was a decent date, as first dates go. Nothing too out of the ordinary this time: we ate, talked, walked around the mall, and then went our separate ways. I was sweet, charming, funny, and I asked questions about him so I could get to know him better. I thought it was a decent first date. Two days after that date, I get a message from him saying that it's better if we're just friends. At this point, I'm a little confused, but not mad at all. The week before, Willyam had showered me with compliments and told me of his plan to marry me and take me with him everywhere. Now, he up and decides that he just wants to be friends.You know what, cool. I wasn't madly in love with him, I didn't know him that well anyway, so I was totally cool with just being friends.
A week after declaring that he needed to "cut his losses," Willyam sends me a message saying that he was wrong for saying what he did, and that he would really like to take me out again. STRIKE TWO! I want a man who makes a decision and stands by it; I don't want someone who flip-flops his answers because he can't make up his mind. Plus, I'm not a fan of anyone deciding that I'm not good enough for them to date, and then for their friend to change their mind; however, I do believe in giving second chances, so I told Willyam that I would have to think about going out on a date with him again.

Flash forward a few weeks. Willyam and I are casually chatting online. He says that he needs to get offline because he's going to take his roommate out to dinner since they won't be living together much longer. Then he adds, "I would take you out to a nice dinner if you would ever go out on a date with me again." I decided that I would try to give him the benefit of the doubt, and agreed to go out on another date. As soon as I tell him my decision, he says, "Great! I think we should get ice cream."
Wait....You say that you'll take me out to a nice dinner and show me a good time, but as soon as I accept, you lower the deal and are only willing to get ice cream with me...? What I'm hearing is that you didn't expect me to agree to the date, but when I do, you have to lower your bid because I'm not good enough for the original offer. STRIKE THREE!  Against my better judgment, I still went on the date because I had already given my word. I arrive at the ice cream shop at 6:30 sharp, the agreed upon meeting time, but to my surprise Willyam is nowhere to be found. Now, I can understand running into traffic and being a little bit late; however, my rule is that I will wait twenty minutes for someone to show up. After that, I leave and don't turn back. Willyam finally arrived at 6:48. For those of you keeping track at home, he was 18 minutes late. Needless to say, I was not a happy girl. But he did finally arrive. When we stepped up to the counter to place our orders he told me that if I ordered for us, he would pay. Of course I took him up on that. So I told the lady behind the counter what type of ice cream Willyam wanted, a single scoop, in a cup. Then I told her that "I wanted peanut butter chocolate chunk, double scoop, and in a large waffle cone because he was late!"  The lady taking our order cracked up laughing. I figured this would be a good deterrent for him to not be late anymore. (*evil smile*) After getting our dessert, things eased up a bit. We had pretty good conversation, I made him laugh, and we both had a good time; granted, at times our conversations were a little awkward because he chose seats at a bar in front of the window. So when we talked, he wouldn't look directly at me, but would instead look at my reflection in the window. I thought it was a little odd, but chalked it up to him being nervous. It was odd, but not a complete dealbreaker.

Since the second date had gone fairly well, I figured things could only get better on the third date. Willyam wouldn't be as nervous, we would have good entertainment (we went to see Skyfall!), we would have something to talk about afterwards, and it was the weekend, so I wouldn't have to be up (as early) the next morning and could therefore enjoy myself.
I was wrong. Very wrong.
About a half hour before I needed to leave for the theater, I get a message from Willyam telling me that he's excited about seeing me tonight. Aww, that's sweet. When I respond and tell him that I'm excited, too, he informs me that, "No, you're not excited." He didn't like the way I responded, and then told me how I felt. Not a good start to the date, Willyam. I thought to myself, "I was excited, but I'm not now. Geez." I honestly considered cancelling the date, but I'd had a long day at work, and decided that I should go out and try to have a little fun.
At last, I make it to the cinema and catch up to Willyam. [He wasn't late this time! hehe!] But once inside our theater, he would hardly talk to me. We chatted politely, but not anymore than acquaintances would while in an elevator. I was so relieved when the movie started (and not just because I love Daniel Craig as James Bond!). We'd both mentioned being hungry, so when the movie let out I recommended that we stop at the Steak-and-Shake next door to get a few milkshakes, nothing fancy. Without missing a beat, Willyam turns to me and says, "Wow. You're an expensive date." I was so flabbergasted that I couldn't say anything. I finally stumbled through the words "I can just go home, if you'd like. I have no problem with that." He laughed it away, and insisted that I get something to eat with him. Reluctantly, I went. Looking back, I should have left right then, but I didn't know how bad things were going to get. Once inside the restaurant, he wouldn't look at me. He was playing Text-Tag with his former roommate most of our meal, and when he did talk to me, he wanted to talk about a girl he used to date that I am friends with. Trying to get the conversation going, I told him about my day, what was going on in my life, and a few things that were on my mind. But as before, when I said something, Willyam responded in his unique way. "You're boring."  That's all he said, and then dropped his head to answer his new text message. Once again not knowing exactly what to say (or perhaps wanting to maintain my Lady status and not say anything that I would regret later) I occupied the remaining time by people-watching the other customers around, as well as genuinely enjoying everything the Russian waitress had to say. STRIKE FOUR! You can probably guess that by this time I was annoyed, insulted, perturbed, and completely confused. I gave several attempts at making conversation, went out of my way to him a second chance, and this is what happens..?! That's it. I'm done. We can be friendly, sure, but there is no way that I'm ever going on another date with this guy again.
A few days later, I get another message from Willyam. He asks me if I want to be his girlfriend (are you kidding me?!) and I quickly answer no. After answering no, and Willyam clarifying that there is no way that I want to be his girlfriend, he asks me a strange question: "So, since you won't go out with me, will you help me figure out how to get this other girl I've been dating to be my girlfriend?" STRIKE FIVE! Not three minutes after I decline your request of a relationship, you ask me to help you seal the deal on a relationship with another girl you've been seeing at the same time as me. You are seriously socially inept if you think that I'm going to be Little Miss Mary Sunshine about this. I had my moments of sarcasm at his expense, but then begrudgingly agreed to point out some of the reasons that made me decide to not date him. What he did with the information was his business. (Call me soft-hearted or whatever you want, but I can't hardly stand to not help someone when they ask for it, no matter how silly the request.)
A few days pass with Willyam and I on our "friends-only" status. He sends me a message as I'm getting ready for bed, so at this point, I'm completely wiped out from my crazy-busy day, and the only thing I want to do is crawl under my quilt and pass out. Nicely, I explain this to Willyam; instead of politely saying goodnight, or something along those lines, he whines because no one will talk to him. I feel a tinge of guilt, so I ask what he means by his previous statement. He reveals that he had intended on talking to Emily (the girl he was courting the same time that he was courting me), but that she was either asleep or ignoring him. So he had to settle for talking to me "because a man isn't really a man if he doesn't have a woman to talk to at the end of the day." So basically, I was his back-up plan because the girl he wanted didn't want to talk to him (although I can't say that I blame the girl....haha), but he still needed someone to validate his life. STRIKE SIX!  That was the absolute last straw. I could understand a few oddities, and accept the fact that Willyam was a Socially Awkward Turtle. But with his last few dumb moves, he elevated into the Jerk Neighborhood. I refuse to be someone's back up plan, no matter what the situation is. No. Not happening. With this final blow, I wiped my hands of Willyam, and am more than satisfied with my decision.  I mean, by this time in baseball, I would have struck out two batters! It was definitely time to get this guy out of my life for good.

So, what do you think? Am I blowing things out of the water? Was Willyam not as bad a date as I thought? Or do you think I was silly to wait so long to rid my life of him? I don't get asked out on dates much, so I'm not sure where this rates on the "Wow, That Was the Worst Date of the World-O-Meter" but I'm fairly confident that it ranks high. Have you ever been out with your own Socially Awkward Willyam? If so, tell me about it! I'm really excited to see what you have to say about my dating experience, and how I reacted. Let me know what you think!