I've had a lot of time to think recently, not about anything in particular, but about all things. One recurring thought is based on the actions of other people and their motivations behind those actions. I've noticed that a lot of people seem to be "looking out for number one" so to speak, and only doing what benefits them, no matter what the outcome is for anyone else. There are those who perform good actions, but only when they believe that they will have something good happen to them in return. While I understand the notion of Quid Pro Quo, I'm not sure that I agree with it completely. Personally, I think that people should be good because it is the right thing to do. We should be good for the sake of being good.
Now, I don't want to start off on the wrong foot; this is not an angry post, and this is not me telling you that you are a terrible person for acting a certain way. That isn't the case at all. I'm just writing down a few things that I have noticed while people watching. While writing this, I am actually laying upside down in comfy pants (thanks to Mark) with the fan on and listening to my Happy Music playlist. There is no way that I could be angry when writing this post. Honest.
Let's start with an anecdotal background, shall we...
Yesterday I had my hair cut and was able to donate 10 inches of hair to Locks of Love. For those of you who don't know, Locks of Love is a non-profit organization that donates hair pieces to children suffering from medical issues (http://www.locksoflove.org/). I was able to have my hair cut and feel pretty, as well as donate my hair to a child in need to help him/her feel pretty. I could have just let the hairdresser cut my hair and let it all fall to the floor, but since I was eligible to donate my hair to such a wonderful cause, I knew that I should do the right thing and help someone else out. I didn't think twice about it.
Later that evening, when I was telling a friend what I had done, she asked me a question that was completely unexpected: "Since you donated your hair, did you still have to pay for your haircut? I think that since you gave your hair to a little kid that you shouldn't have to pay for it..."
Like I said, that was completely unexpected. It had never occurred to me to ask for a free haircut because I was being nice and donating the hair being cut. I don't have that mindset of "I'll do something for you if you do something for me."I wasn't sure how to answer her question at first, but after a moment of giving her the nose-crinkled, squinty-eyed "Are you stupid...?" look, I calmly answered that, no, I hadn't asked about any discounts for donations. I paid for my haircut as I normally would have, and went on with the rest of my day.
Surely I cannot be the only person who would have acted this way. I am realistic and know that there are those who would have only given their hair to charity if they had received the free haircut, but I can't possibly be the only person to give such a donation without the pretense of getting something in return.
Let's expand the scenario. Giving old clothes to The Goodwill. Handing out spare change to collectors at stoplights. Donating canned goods to the Boy Scout Troop collecting for a homeless shelter downtown. Do other people just shrug them off because those organizations are not able to benefit the first person? I know that we live in a "Dog Eat Dog" world, but can't we just let the other dog cross the road without attacking him? Can't we let him go on about his life without taking all of his belongings for our own because they would improve our circumstances? Would it even be possible for us to help the other dog back to his house, even if he could not help us? (Now, I realize that I'm using a lot of play-on words here, but the point is still the same.)
I am not saying that I'm perfect and adhere to this thought at all times. I have my moments where I don't feel like taking care of myself, let alone helping everyone else out. But I do my best to help anyone that I can. I can't stand the thought that I was capable of helping a person better their life in some way, and I didn't do it because they couldn't give me anything in return.
Am I being too naive to think that people should want to help each other for absolutely no reason? Am I being a simpleton because I think that people should act out of goodness instead of what they could get in return? Am I being unrealistic in expecting people to go out of their way to help another person? I know that helping other people takes time, money, energy and other resources away from the person doing the helping, but does this mean that people should take care of themselves an no one else? Let me know what you think. I'm seriously interesting in finding out what other people do, how they act, and if I'm the only person who believes this way.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Don't Talk to Me Like I'm Stupid!
I wouldn't say that I'm difficult to get along with. I'm an open-minded person who can respect that people are different and experience life in different ways. I'm one of THE MOST EMPATHETIC people you will ever encounter. However, there is one major reason that you and I will not get along: if you treat people badly. I absolutely hate when people are rude to one another. I can't stand it. And there are all types of "rude" so be careful. You can slander their name, get physically rough with them, ignore them and make it seem as if they don't exist. This episode of Ranting With Katelyn pertains to the issue of talking down to someone, though.
I know that I'm 22 years old. I know that I have not gone out and explored every aspect of the world. I know that I'm not the smartest, the bravest, the prettiest, or the best at everything. At anything for that matter. I know all of that. I also know that I am a good person and put my best effort forth on everything I do. I may not be as old as you and have the same worldly experiences; I may not have the Doctorate Degree that you have, but this in no way gives you the right to talk-down to me.
This idea that some people have of themselves as being better than everyone around them is absolutely ridiculous. Let me repeat that last part. Absolutely Ridiculous. If you think that you are so important that you get to belittle those around you because they aren't of the same status (however you might measure that), then you have another thing coming. The homeless man, the single mom, the lawyer. None of these people are more important than anyone else, and none of them deserve to feel degraded.
I don't like seeing people mistreated and talked-down to. I really hate it when people start talking to me in this way. As soon as a person switches on the condescending-tone, I can literally feel my blood pressure rise. I have to clench my fists and force a smile onto my face so that I don't go Crazy-White-Girl on them. In fact, this has happened so many times lately that I'm half-afraid that I will have a heart attack because my blood pressure stays so high.
My recent endeavors have led to meet with many new people over the last few months. During this time most people ask me what I'm doing with my time. I mention that I have recently graduated from Eastern Kentucky University with a Bachelor's degree in Sociology. This is when the condescending-tone-switch is flipped. "What are you going to do with that? Shouldn't you have picked a major that would help you do something with your life? How can you have a real career with a degree like that?"
I didn't choose a course of study that was automatically transferable to "real-world" jobs (such as nursing, or teaching); however, I choose a field that I enjoy. I like people-watching and understanding why groups of people act the way they do. And that is something I can use in any setting. So, while my degree is not up to your standard, take comfort in knowing that I didn't ask for your opinion or approval when I decided what to do with my life.
That brings me to my next point...
After I say that I have just graduated, the follow-up question is always "What are you doing career-wise?" Don't get me wrong, I don't mind answering that question. I have no problem telling people that I am working to pay off my student loans, but am not entirely sure what I will do after that. What grinds my gears is that those people go back to their condescending-tone and talk to me like I have an IQ of 12 simply because I do not have precise career ambitions. When they ask me what I wanted to be "when I grew up" [and that's another thing I hate: I'm grown. Just because I'm younger than you doesn't mean that I am an infant and incapable of doing things on my own] and I answer them honestly (1 because I hate lying, and 2 because I'm really bad at lying) by saying that the only long-term life choice I've ever had was to be a Momma, they laugh. That's right. They ask me a question, I answer, and they laugh at me. I don't care who you are, if someone laughed at your life ambitions, no matter what they may be, I'm fairly certain that you would be upset, and rightfully so! I express that I want to have children of my own and take care of them: love them, make them laugh, dry their eyes after they have cried, and teach them how to be a good person, and the rest of the world scoffs. They purse their lips into a smug smirk believing that they are better than I am, raise an eyebrow at how ridiculous they think I am being, and saunter off because they consider themselves a better person for the simple fact that they have an "actual career." This mindset of being better than someone, especially based on employment, makes me fighting mad. Just because you don't understand what is important in another person's life does not give you the right to talk-down to them or make them feel inferior. No. Just no. Once again, I didn't ask your permission about how to live my life, nor did I ask for your comments about it. I answered the question you asked me, and should not have to defend myself to your criticisms.
Even just writing about this gets me mad. I........I don't.....I don't even know what else to say. There is no reason to talk to anyone like they are stupid. You might not understand the reasons behind their life choices, and you might not agree with the decisions they make. But that does not give you the right to belittle anyone. If you do, it will anger the people around you,and ultimately make them trust and respect you less. Also, if you do this to anyone and I am around to see it, I will call you out on it. Don't make me do that to you. I promise it won't be pretty. It will end looking something like this:
What do you think? Am I being too touchy about this? What is your opinion about me wanting to be a Momma? What bothers you most when people start talking to you like you're stupid? How do you handle the situation? Let me know what you think.
I know that I'm 22 years old. I know that I have not gone out and explored every aspect of the world. I know that I'm not the smartest, the bravest, the prettiest, or the best at everything. At anything for that matter. I know all of that. I also know that I am a good person and put my best effort forth on everything I do. I may not be as old as you and have the same worldly experiences; I may not have the Doctorate Degree that you have, but this in no way gives you the right to talk-down to me.
This idea that some people have of themselves as being better than everyone around them is absolutely ridiculous. Let me repeat that last part. Absolutely Ridiculous. If you think that you are so important that you get to belittle those around you because they aren't of the same status (however you might measure that), then you have another thing coming. The homeless man, the single mom, the lawyer. None of these people are more important than anyone else, and none of them deserve to feel degraded.
I don't like seeing people mistreated and talked-down to. I really hate it when people start talking to me in this way. As soon as a person switches on the condescending-tone, I can literally feel my blood pressure rise. I have to clench my fists and force a smile onto my face so that I don't go Crazy-White-Girl on them. In fact, this has happened so many times lately that I'm half-afraid that I will have a heart attack because my blood pressure stays so high.
My recent endeavors have led to meet with many new people over the last few months. During this time most people ask me what I'm doing with my time. I mention that I have recently graduated from Eastern Kentucky University with a Bachelor's degree in Sociology. This is when the condescending-tone-switch is flipped. "What are you going to do with that? Shouldn't you have picked a major that would help you do something with your life? How can you have a real career with a degree like that?"
I didn't choose a course of study that was automatically transferable to "real-world" jobs (such as nursing, or teaching); however, I choose a field that I enjoy. I like people-watching and understanding why groups of people act the way they do. And that is something I can use in any setting. So, while my degree is not up to your standard, take comfort in knowing that I didn't ask for your opinion or approval when I decided what to do with my life.
That brings me to my next point...
After I say that I have just graduated, the follow-up question is always "What are you doing career-wise?" Don't get me wrong, I don't mind answering that question. I have no problem telling people that I am working to pay off my student loans, but am not entirely sure what I will do after that. What grinds my gears is that those people go back to their condescending-tone and talk to me like I have an IQ of 12 simply because I do not have precise career ambitions. When they ask me what I wanted to be "when I grew up" [and that's another thing I hate: I'm grown. Just because I'm younger than you doesn't mean that I am an infant and incapable of doing things on my own] and I answer them honestly (1 because I hate lying, and 2 because I'm really bad at lying) by saying that the only long-term life choice I've ever had was to be a Momma, they laugh. That's right. They ask me a question, I answer, and they laugh at me. I don't care who you are, if someone laughed at your life ambitions, no matter what they may be, I'm fairly certain that you would be upset, and rightfully so! I express that I want to have children of my own and take care of them: love them, make them laugh, dry their eyes after they have cried, and teach them how to be a good person, and the rest of the world scoffs. They purse their lips into a smug smirk believing that they are better than I am, raise an eyebrow at how ridiculous they think I am being, and saunter off because they consider themselves a better person for the simple fact that they have an "actual career." This mindset of being better than someone, especially based on employment, makes me fighting mad. Just because you don't understand what is important in another person's life does not give you the right to talk-down to them or make them feel inferior. No. Just no. Once again, I didn't ask your permission about how to live my life, nor did I ask for your comments about it. I answered the question you asked me, and should not have to defend myself to your criticisms.
Even just writing about this gets me mad. I........I don't.....I don't even know what else to say. There is no reason to talk to anyone like they are stupid. You might not understand the reasons behind their life choices, and you might not agree with the decisions they make. But that does not give you the right to belittle anyone. If you do, it will anger the people around you,and ultimately make them trust and respect you less. Also, if you do this to anyone and I am around to see it, I will call you out on it. Don't make me do that to you. I promise it won't be pretty. It will end looking something like this:
What do you think? Am I being too touchy about this? What is your opinion about me wanting to be a Momma? What bothers you most when people start talking to you like you're stupid? How do you handle the situation? Let me know what you think.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Respect is Given. Trust is Earned.
A lot of people adhere to the rule "You have to earn respect to get it," but I've always had an issue with that rule. What if you don't know someone long enough to for either of you to earn the other person's respect? Does that mean that neither of you should respect the other? I don't like that option.
I live by the motto "Respect is given. Trust is earned."
I believe that it is a basic human courtesy to respect other people that you come in contact with.You shouldn't have to know someone for a significant amount of time before you regard them as an equal. Whether it is the peppy girl at school, or the grungy guy working on my car, the two-year-old asking me to answer his toy telephone, or the widow-woman working in her garden. We should all be considerate that everyone is going through something in their lives (whether we can personally relate to it or not) and that we should respect them as a person. I'm not saying that you have to like everything that people do. I'm more realistic than that. I know that you won't like everything that anyone does; however, I do think we should all treat each other with basic human courtesies.
* I want to make it clear that just because everyone starts off with my respect does not mean that my respect cannot be diminished. Without going into too much detail, I will say that there have been people in my life who I respected at one time, but then circumstances changed and they acted in ways that I thought were grossly inappropriate and uncalled for. In cases like this, I still treated the person with civility, but I no longer respected them.
I might not trust you as far as I can throw you, but I will respect you (until you give me a reason not to).
Speaking of trust...
It takes time for me to truly trust someone. True, there are those who I click with and trust quickly, but for the most part it takes time to earn my trust. Even if I think you are an overall good person, it may take me quite some time to feel comfortable enough to trust you. I need to know that I can tell you my secrets and not have you running off to tell everyone else; I need to know that you can treat people decently no matter their position in life; I need to know that you will have my back in tough situations instead of only sticking with me during the good times. To some, this might sound like a lot, but I feel like these are fundamental in building trust.
As long as it takes to earn, my trust can be lost just as quickly as my respect can. Lying to me, treating people badly for no reason, and other activities are good ways to lose my trust (or never gain it in the first place). It is possible to re-earn my trust once it has been lost, but that takes twice as long as the first time, and I will not feel as confident in our bond as I did before.
Like I said, I abide by the notion that respect is given and trust has to be earned. I understand that not everyone lives this way, but I do think that we should all give people the basic human courtesies that they deserve, no matter our personal opinions of them. This may seem like an odd post, but believe me when I say that I have reasons for writing about the topic at hand. What do you think? Do I have a non-sensical philosophy? Am I being unreasonable with my expectations of other people? What motto do you live by when it comes to other people?
I live by the motto "Respect is given. Trust is earned."
I believe that it is a basic human courtesy to respect other people that you come in contact with.You shouldn't have to know someone for a significant amount of time before you regard them as an equal. Whether it is the peppy girl at school, or the grungy guy working on my car, the two-year-old asking me to answer his toy telephone, or the widow-woman working in her garden. We should all be considerate that everyone is going through something in their lives (whether we can personally relate to it or not) and that we should respect them as a person. I'm not saying that you have to like everything that people do. I'm more realistic than that. I know that you won't like everything that anyone does; however, I do think we should all treat each other with basic human courtesies.
* I want to make it clear that just because everyone starts off with my respect does not mean that my respect cannot be diminished. Without going into too much detail, I will say that there have been people in my life who I respected at one time, but then circumstances changed and they acted in ways that I thought were grossly inappropriate and uncalled for. In cases like this, I still treated the person with civility, but I no longer respected them.
I might not trust you as far as I can throw you, but I will respect you (until you give me a reason not to).
Speaking of trust...
It takes time for me to truly trust someone. True, there are those who I click with and trust quickly, but for the most part it takes time to earn my trust. Even if I think you are an overall good person, it may take me quite some time to feel comfortable enough to trust you. I need to know that I can tell you my secrets and not have you running off to tell everyone else; I need to know that you can treat people decently no matter their position in life; I need to know that you will have my back in tough situations instead of only sticking with me during the good times. To some, this might sound like a lot, but I feel like these are fundamental in building trust.
As long as it takes to earn, my trust can be lost just as quickly as my respect can. Lying to me, treating people badly for no reason, and other activities are good ways to lose my trust (or never gain it in the first place). It is possible to re-earn my trust once it has been lost, but that takes twice as long as the first time, and I will not feel as confident in our bond as I did before.
Like I said, I abide by the notion that respect is given and trust has to be earned. I understand that not everyone lives this way, but I do think that we should all give people the basic human courtesies that they deserve, no matter our personal opinions of them. This may seem like an odd post, but believe me when I say that I have reasons for writing about the topic at hand. What do you think? Do I have a non-sensical philosophy? Am I being unreasonable with my expectations of other people? What motto do you live by when it comes to other people?
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Delusions are Part of My Charm
In one of my previous posts, I mentioned that I think of myself as Wonder Woman. Now, I know that some of you smirked, shook your heads and thought of how silly I was; others simply scoffed at my comparison, and a few people nodded their heads because they could see the similarities. To those head-nodders, I thank you for believing in me. To everyone else, this post is dedicated to showing you that I truly am Wonder Woman.
The following are characteristics of Wonder Woman and explanations of how I portray them.
(Remember that I am not always in my uniform, so these demonstrations may seem tame, but they should not be taken lightly....)
Super Strength
I have never been one of the girls to let a guy take care of things for me. I play along when he is being a gentleman, but I cannot think of an instance where I let a guy carry something for me because he thought I couldn't do it. I was the first girl to be part of the Loading Crew in marching band because I was the only one strong enough to handle the instruments. I can carry three backpacks, weighing more than 60 pounds each, without breaking a sweat. When my lung kept collapsing, I carried on with my regularly scheduled activities (including band and choir groups) for two weeks before telling anyone that I was in pain and needed to go to the hospital. If these examples don't scream "Super Strength" then I don't know what does...
Super Speed
I can't help that I am a speed-demon in my 1993 Thunderbird. First off, you have a car that sits so low to the ground, has a sleek body style, and then you paint it red?! Of course I'm going to speed when I drive it!
I hate the thoughts of walking slowly. I took a PE class dedicated to nothing but walking, and had to leave the group and walk on my own because I was walking too fast for the other girls. A more recent example would take place while I was working with the Upward Bound program this past summer: I broke my foot and had to wear a Walking Boot (which is basically a glorified cast) but still walked faster than the healthy teenagers around me. My co-workers and I actually said, "If Katelyn if walking faster than you are, with her in the boot, there is definitely something wrong!"
Super Stamina
I have always been an overachiever. From elementary school, to middle school, all the way through high school and college. I give my absolutely best effort to accomplish the task set before me. This became quite time consuming once I was in college. I was taking at least 15 hours of classes every semester, working two jobs, maintaining my status on the Dean's List, and I still managed to have time for friends every now and again; however, this did not leave time for much sleep. At all. I would sleep as late as I could on the weekends, but would go days without sleep during the week. I went to classes during regular school hours, worked during the evenings, and stayed up all night completing my assignments. I believe that my ability to go days without sleep and still function at the level I did (and have a smile on my face) proves that I have Super Stamina.
Super Agility
Some people reading this are thinking to themselves "She can't possibly come up with examples of Super Agility. Not Katelyn!" I can understand you doubting my agility due to a few events in my life that were not so graceful (such as breaking my foot while playing hide-and-seek. Who does that?!). But let me assure you that this is another Superhero trait that I possess.
If you have known me any time at all, the odds are good that you have noticed me wearing high heels. I love high heels. Usually the higher the heel, the happier I am. I don't just put on a pair of heels and sit down to work. No. No no. I can walk for hours in my heels: from touring college campuses, to trying to find that off-Broadway theater somewhere downtown I love wearing high heels. I can even run in them. Yes, that's right, I run in my 5-inch stilettos and never falter. I dare you to find any sorority girl who can out-walk me in heels.
Weapons and Combat Training
Whenever I am out and about, I am carrying three weapons with me, on average. Sometimes more, but hardly ever less. I am one of those girls who enjoys playing with knives, and whose eyes light up when one of the guys presents a new pistol for her to shoot. I feel like if I go into any more detail about my weapons that someone with legal authority will come knocking on my door to ask me A LOT of questions, so I'm just going to stop there...
Now, I don't go out looking for fights, but I have had to defend myself on occasion. I have had several self-defense courses, and excelled at them. I have even worked with the police department to help them train their female cadets. I have fought opponents who were bigger than me, when they out-numbered me, and when I was physically trapped. And yet I was determined enough to beat them, and had the training to do so. Like I said, I do not condone going out and trying to start a fight, but if I have to, I know that I am more than capable of taking care of myself.
Weakness of Having Her Hands Tied by Man
If you know anything about Wonder Woman, you know that her one weakness is having her hands bound by a man. If this should happen, she loses all of her superhero powers, and is just ordinary Diana.
Brace yourself. I'm going to get metaphorical on this one.
I'm single. I've been single for most of my life, and the one time I did have a boyfriend he was in the military and I never saw him, so it was basically like I was single, anyway. Subconsciously, this is my way of avoiding my Wonder Woman weakness. If I do not have a boyfriend, then I will not be tied-down by some guy. I can do what I want, spend my money how I want, and just have a good time without having to worry about what the guy thinks. So even though friends and family have tried to set me up on dates, perhaps I am meant to be single so that I can continue to carry out my Wonder Woman responsibilities.
I think I've done an excellent job of proving that I am, indeed, Wonder Woman; however, if you still don't believe me, just look at the picture below. You know that a picture is worth a thousand words. :)
The following are characteristics of Wonder Woman and explanations of how I portray them.
(Remember that I am not always in my uniform, so these demonstrations may seem tame, but they should not be taken lightly....)
Super Strength
I have never been one of the girls to let a guy take care of things for me. I play along when he is being a gentleman, but I cannot think of an instance where I let a guy carry something for me because he thought I couldn't do it. I was the first girl to be part of the Loading Crew in marching band because I was the only one strong enough to handle the instruments. I can carry three backpacks, weighing more than 60 pounds each, without breaking a sweat. When my lung kept collapsing, I carried on with my regularly scheduled activities (including band and choir groups) for two weeks before telling anyone that I was in pain and needed to go to the hospital. If these examples don't scream "Super Strength" then I don't know what does...
Super Speed
I can't help that I am a speed-demon in my 1993 Thunderbird. First off, you have a car that sits so low to the ground, has a sleek body style, and then you paint it red?! Of course I'm going to speed when I drive it!
I hate the thoughts of walking slowly. I took a PE class dedicated to nothing but walking, and had to leave the group and walk on my own because I was walking too fast for the other girls. A more recent example would take place while I was working with the Upward Bound program this past summer: I broke my foot and had to wear a Walking Boot (which is basically a glorified cast) but still walked faster than the healthy teenagers around me. My co-workers and I actually said, "If Katelyn if walking faster than you are, with her in the boot, there is definitely something wrong!"
Super Stamina
I have always been an overachiever. From elementary school, to middle school, all the way through high school and college. I give my absolutely best effort to accomplish the task set before me. This became quite time consuming once I was in college. I was taking at least 15 hours of classes every semester, working two jobs, maintaining my status on the Dean's List, and I still managed to have time for friends every now and again; however, this did not leave time for much sleep. At all. I would sleep as late as I could on the weekends, but would go days without sleep during the week. I went to classes during regular school hours, worked during the evenings, and stayed up all night completing my assignments. I believe that my ability to go days without sleep and still function at the level I did (and have a smile on my face) proves that I have Super Stamina.
Super Agility
Some people reading this are thinking to themselves "She can't possibly come up with examples of Super Agility. Not Katelyn!" I can understand you doubting my agility due to a few events in my life that were not so graceful (such as breaking my foot while playing hide-and-seek. Who does that?!). But let me assure you that this is another Superhero trait that I possess.
If you have known me any time at all, the odds are good that you have noticed me wearing high heels. I love high heels. Usually the higher the heel, the happier I am. I don't just put on a pair of heels and sit down to work. No. No no. I can walk for hours in my heels: from touring college campuses, to trying to find that off-Broadway theater somewhere downtown I love wearing high heels. I can even run in them. Yes, that's right, I run in my 5-inch stilettos and never falter. I dare you to find any sorority girl who can out-walk me in heels.
Weapons and Combat Training
Whenever I am out and about, I am carrying three weapons with me, on average. Sometimes more, but hardly ever less. I am one of those girls who enjoys playing with knives, and whose eyes light up when one of the guys presents a new pistol for her to shoot. I feel like if I go into any more detail about my weapons that someone with legal authority will come knocking on my door to ask me A LOT of questions, so I'm just going to stop there...
Now, I don't go out looking for fights, but I have had to defend myself on occasion. I have had several self-defense courses, and excelled at them. I have even worked with the police department to help them train their female cadets. I have fought opponents who were bigger than me, when they out-numbered me, and when I was physically trapped. And yet I was determined enough to beat them, and had the training to do so. Like I said, I do not condone going out and trying to start a fight, but if I have to, I know that I am more than capable of taking care of myself.
Weakness of Having Her Hands Tied by Man
If you know anything about Wonder Woman, you know that her one weakness is having her hands bound by a man. If this should happen, she loses all of her superhero powers, and is just ordinary Diana.
Brace yourself. I'm going to get metaphorical on this one.
I'm single. I've been single for most of my life, and the one time I did have a boyfriend he was in the military and I never saw him, so it was basically like I was single, anyway. Subconsciously, this is my way of avoiding my Wonder Woman weakness. If I do not have a boyfriend, then I will not be tied-down by some guy. I can do what I want, spend my money how I want, and just have a good time without having to worry about what the guy thinks. So even though friends and family have tried to set me up on dates, perhaps I am meant to be single so that I can continue to carry out my Wonder Woman responsibilities.
I think I've done an excellent job of proving that I am, indeed, Wonder Woman; however, if you still don't believe me, just look at the picture below. You know that a picture is worth a thousand words. :)
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Why You Gotta Be So Mean?!
It has come to my attention that most of my posts have been about my life and experiences, and some of you want material that you can more readily identify with. As you wish...
Occasionally there are commonplace situations that other people accept as normal; however, these situations make me want to pull my hair out (you'll understand why that is significant if you read my post "I am a Trichster"). When these circumstances occur I raise my voice, my blood-pressure rises, I start using expansive hand gestures, my face turns colors. When I go into these fits my friends call it "Ranting with Katelyn!" and overall, it just isn't a pretty picture. On today's episode of Ranting with Katelyn we are discussing Mean Girls (and no, I'm not referring to the movie, although it does supply good examples of what I am talking about).
Occasionally there are commonplace situations that other people accept as normal; however, these situations make me want to pull my hair out (you'll understand why that is significant if you read my post "I am a Trichster"). When these circumstances occur I raise my voice, my blood-pressure rises, I start using expansive hand gestures, my face turns colors. When I go into these fits my friends call it "Ranting with Katelyn!" and overall, it just isn't a pretty picture. On today's episode of Ranting with Katelyn we are discussing Mean Girls (and no, I'm not referring to the movie, although it does supply good examples of what I am talking about).
If I were a betting woman, I would be willing to bet that everyone has known at least one Mean Girl in their life. Odds are that you have known more than one, as they tend to travel in packs, so I will not try to define what a Mean Girl is, exactly. What I'm more concerned with is why they feel the need to act the way they do: negative attitudes, rude and demeaning comments, and vicious forms of torture. Basically, Mean Girls are just bullies who use words, not violence, as their weapons.
Usually Mean Girls appear in middle or high school. They, along with the rest of the population at that age, are having a hard time figuring out who they are and where they fit in. Instead of dealing with their insecurities and issues, they form cliques and harass others. They pick on the loner who is too shy to make friends; they abuse the overweight girl in the locker room, and tell her to "put the cupcake down and walk away." They insult the tomboy by calling her a "slut" since she only has male friends; they label the boy with disabilities a "freak" because he isn't as physically able as most. I don't know about all of you, but I've experienced at least one of those situations (and others) and frankly, I'm tired of it. I think they need to grow up.
This is what I have to say to Mean Girls: Get over yourself. You are not the only person having a hard time. You are not the only one struggling to figure out who you are. You are not the only person to feel insecure about yourself; however, you are the person that is making everyone else's life that much harder. Trust me when I say that we have our own problems to deal with without you making us feel even worse about our insecurities. We know that we may not be the prettiest girl in school, but we don't need your help to make us feel like the ugliest, either. We know that we aren't the skinniest girl, but there is no need for you to prance around in your size 2 mini-skirt when we already feel inadequate in our size 12 dress. Basically, just stop. Stop terrorizing other people to make yourself feel better, and stop tormenting those who are having a rough time as it is. Instead, focus on loving yourself, and dealing with all of your uncertainties. Actually make your life better instead of feeling better about it because you are making those around you truly miserable.
While it would be wonderful if every Mean Girl took this advice and tried to improve themselves, I am realistic and know that it will not happen; however, that doesn't mean that all of the other people have to just sit back and deal with all of the nasty, hateful things that Mean Girls do. I guarantee that there are more people who feel like they are alone than there are Mean Girls when they are in cliques. If the "loners" all banded together and supported one another, they could diminish the power that Mean Girls have and ultimately feel better about themselves sooner. It's like when the 84 band kids cower in the corners of the hallway because 5 popular kids mock them. That makes absolutely no sense to me. If everyone who is suffering comes together to take down those who are making them suffer, then the world should be a better place. Now, this is not to say that you should become a Mean Girl yourself, but that you should stand up for yourself and not let anyone tell you that you are worthless.
If you can't form a support group to defend yourself, do not worry. You aren't alone. It is one of the toughest thing in life to do, to take down that constant negative force harping at you. But take comfort in knowing that this will not last forever. High school will eventually end, and you will blossom into the magnificent person that you were meant to be, no matter what people from your past have told you. I think Taylor Swift said it best in her song "Mean" when she said that someday you will be the better person, and they will still just be mean.
If this post has hit close to home for you (whether you identify with the Mean Girls or those being picked on) and would like to talk, please feel free to comment, or message me. I will do my best to give you a hug and a juice-box, and help you through whatever tough time you are dealing with.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYa1eI1hpDE
While it would be wonderful if every Mean Girl took this advice and tried to improve themselves, I am realistic and know that it will not happen; however, that doesn't mean that all of the other people have to just sit back and deal with all of the nasty, hateful things that Mean Girls do. I guarantee that there are more people who feel like they are alone than there are Mean Girls when they are in cliques. If the "loners" all banded together and supported one another, they could diminish the power that Mean Girls have and ultimately feel better about themselves sooner. It's like when the 84 band kids cower in the corners of the hallway because 5 popular kids mock them. That makes absolutely no sense to me. If everyone who is suffering comes together to take down those who are making them suffer, then the world should be a better place. Now, this is not to say that you should become a Mean Girl yourself, but that you should stand up for yourself and not let anyone tell you that you are worthless.
If you can't form a support group to defend yourself, do not worry. You aren't alone. It is one of the toughest thing in life to do, to take down that constant negative force harping at you. But take comfort in knowing that this will not last forever. High school will eventually end, and you will blossom into the magnificent person that you were meant to be, no matter what people from your past have told you. I think Taylor Swift said it best in her song "Mean" when she said that someday you will be the better person, and they will still just be mean.
If this post has hit close to home for you (whether you identify with the Mean Girls or those being picked on) and would like to talk, please feel free to comment, or message me. I will do my best to give you a hug and a juice-box, and help you through whatever tough time you are dealing with.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYa1eI1hpDE
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
All Them Teeth and No Toothbrush
"My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush." Anyone who has watched the movie The Waterboy recognizes this line, as it tries to explain the aggressive nature of alligators. While it is true that alligators are aggressive at times, it is also true that I find them adorable and would love to own one as a pet!
Most people, when talking about the animals they want as a pet, list creatures like cats, dogs, rabbits, lizards, and occasionally snakes. But I've never heard of someone (besides myself) who stated that they wanted an alligator as a pet. When I do tell people that I want a pet alligator they look at me like I escaped from the Psychiatric Ward, and immediately start telling me why having an alligator as a pet is a bad idea. Since I am apparently the only person who would love an alligator as a pet, I would like to explain my point of view to everyone else.
Alligators are independent. You may see a few gathered together, but most full-grown alligators live by themselves. They take care of themselves, find their own food, and they are content in doing so. The females might stick with their young for a short while, but they are teaching them what it takes to survive, and then everyone is on their own. As a woman who takes pride in independence, I love this quality about alligators.
Alligators are smarter than we give them credit for. They may not be as intelligent as scientists claim that dolphins are, and they may not be as emotionally intelligent as canines, but they are still smart in their own right. Take for example the way an alligator goes about finding food: you don't see alligators thrashing around haphazardly in an attempt to catch something to eat. No. Instead, they are calm and steady themselves in the water... they wait for the prey to come to them... and when the timing is just right....SNAP! They have the perfect individual-size dinner. Of course, there are times when the animal that is supposed to be dinner fights back or is more of a mouthful than the alligator originally thought; however, this does not stump Miss Gator. Determined (another trait that I admire) to not let anything get the better of her, Ali-Gator assesses the situation and comes to the conclusion that her current tactics will not be enough to defeat her opponent. This is when she uses her fail-proof tail-swish maneuver, The Death Roll! First, if an alligator uses the Death Roll against you, it means that you will not be alive much longer. No matter how big and bad you are, when an alligator gets a hold of you and does a Death Roll then you are done. Second, how flipping sweet is it to have a weapon called The Death Roll in your arsenal?!
I also happen to think that alligators are just adorable. I don't know if it is the toddler-like swivel they do on land when walking, or if it is because when they open their jaws that I think of them as smiling all the time. Perhaps I am drawn to alligators because everyone else regards them as ugly and dangerous. Where others see a mindless, menacing monster, I see a beautiful creature who lurks in the water in an attempt to avoid all the negative comments that other people are saying about her.
There are those who have accused me of simply wanting to own an alligator as a pet to show my superior status. And if that is all I wanted, then why didn't I get an animal that is easier to get along with, like a penguin..? First, I do not want an alligator as a status symbol. I just like alligators. Second, I want an animal that would fit into my life, instead of me having to rearrange my living situation in order to accommodate it. Penguins, for example, would turn my world upside down: I would have to keep my house freezing, literally, and those who know me know that I hate being cold. I would have to buy different types of food for the penguins than for me. Penguins eat a lot of fish, and I do not eat fish at all, which would cost me more money. Eventually I would end up hating the penguin because I would have no money, I would be cold all the time, and my house would always smell like fish.
Having a pet alligator doesn't seem like such a bad idea in my case, though. They live in warmer climates, so I would be comfortable temperature-wise; they are able to live in water or on land, which is a plus since I mostly live on land but greatly enjoy being in the water. Plus, I wouldn't have to buy anything special to feed an alligator. I would buy my normal food (with things like chicken and steak) and simply share my meals with my pet alligator, who I would name Sinatra, by the way. This way, Sinatra is still eating well, I'm not spending extra money on pet food (and a little bonus is that I would lose weight because of sharing my food. haha). An alligator just fits in my life.
Having a pet alligator doesn't seem like such a bad idea in my case, though. They live in warmer climates, so I would be comfortable temperature-wise; they are able to live in water or on land, which is a plus since I mostly live on land but greatly enjoy being in the water. Plus, I wouldn't have to buy anything special to feed an alligator. I would buy my normal food (with things like chicken and steak) and simply share my meals with my pet alligator, who I would name Sinatra, by the way. This way, Sinatra is still eating well, I'm not spending extra money on pet food (and a little bonus is that I would lose weight because of sharing my food. haha). An alligator just fits in my life.
I think that what I've written makes a lot of sense in explaining why I love alligators so much. But maybe I'm a bit biased. It could be that all of these things are justifications for a weird-girl liking an odd animal. What do you think? What do you think it says about me that alligators are my favorite animal?
"Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators."
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
I am a Trichster
Fair warning: This is a more serious post.
Everyone has stress, but not everyone deals with it the same way. Some people overeat, some turn to drugs and alcohol, some become violent, and others simply cry the day away. While I have thought of using these coping mechanisms on different occasions, the aforementioned are not how I deal with stress. Instead, I am a Trichster.
Trichotillomania is best defined as an impulse-control disorder where an individual pulls out his or her own hair in an attempt to provide relief from tension or anxiety. I have this disorder, and am therefore called a Trichster.
Without realizing it, I sort of developed this addiction to pulling my hair out. I pulled from my eyebrows, my eyelashes, and my scalp. All for the temporary relief that it gave me. Of course, when life became overwhelming, the attempt to gain temporary relief left me with bald patches in all of the previously mentioned locations. I had to draw on my eyebrows, apply extra eyeliner and mascara to hide the gaps in my eyelashes, and I could only wear my hair a certain way so that no one would notice the dime-sized bald spots on my head. There were times when I didn't feel as stressed out and anxious, but high school was definitely my toughest time. Senior year (what I consider my lowest point) is when I had to pull out all the stops: I didn't have any eyebrows, I didn't have any eyelashes, and the hair on my head was minimal at best. I couldn't go swimming for fear that the makeup would wash off and people would see what I really looked like. I lost countless hours of sleep trying to hide my condition from family: I would stay up later than everyone so they didn't see me when I washed my makeup off at night, and I would get up earlier than everyone the next day to put makeup back on before they knew any better. I was ashamed of myself and had started to believe that my classmates were right in calling me worthless. This complete abhorrence I had for myself only perpetuated the tension I experienced, and therefore the pulling cycle.
Once I got out of high school and away from that toxic environment and its inhabitants, I didn't have nearly as much trouble with my Trichotillomania. I realized that I wasn't this hideous monster like people had claimed, but that I had a lot to offer the world. This is not to say that I am cured of Trichotillomania by any means; I still have stress and pull my hair out every once in a while, but it is nowhere near the extent that it was in high school. I have done tons of research about the disorder and found comfort in knowing that I am not the only person suffering from it. I've tried implementing tricks to keep my hands busy so that I am not able to pull, but have found that those fixes are only temporary.
Most of the success I achieved when battling my Trichotillomania came after I accepted who I was. I had to learn to love myself, and not believe all the negative things that other people said about me before a big chunk of my anxiety would ease up. I had to accept that I was not perfect, and that not everyone was going to like me, but that I was still a good person and deserved at least basic courtesies. I am still working on fine-tuning these ideas in my mind, and often struggle to feel comfortable telling everyone about my disorder; however, I am trying to come to terms with, and love the person that I truly am, and all that encompasses, which includes me having Trichotillomania.
So....my name is Katelyn and I am a Trichster.
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