Christmas is Coming; It's Practically Here!

It's the Holiday Season once again. Hanukkah has already begun, Christmas is just around the corner, and Kwanzaa is right behind that. Some of you may not celebrate anything this time of year, and that is fine, but my family and I celebrate Christmas.  And while it is true that I absolutely despise the cold, I am completely ecstatic about the Christmas Season.
"Oh, Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind...."  --Kris Kringle from Miracle on 34th Street

 This time of year is when people spend most of their time indoors; the weather doesn't permit being outside for long periods of time. Instead of being absorbed with our latest technology, or doing our own thing, my family spends this time with one another; we turn on our Christmas music playlist (we have people like Dean Martin, Elvis Presley, and Ray Charles. Because there is something so attractive about a man that can sing!), sit around the kitchen table playing cards or board games, we have some sort of dessert baking, and there is a fire crackling in the next room. The Christmas tree is lit, and even if there are no presents underneath it, just seeing all the homemade ornaments and memories brings a smile to my face.

Going out shopping has never enthused me, but deciding what to buy for a friend that will make her face light up is what makes trudging out in the cold worth it. Taking the time to match the personality of the recipient to that of the gift I give makes them feel special, and in return I feel good about making them feel special.

Another appealing part of going out shopping is that it gets dark relatively early; this means that by the time I've finished making the rounds and am heading home, houses are all lit up with their Christmas decorations and twinkle lights. I can barely describe the joy it brings me to drive down what would normally be a dark highway and have it glow with warm and inviting decorations.

This time of year, people send out Holiday Cards to let you know that they've been thinking of you throughout the year. Even during their hectic life, they thought of you and smiled, and sent you a holiday card to let you know how important you are to them. Having the top of my piano covered with all of these individual  "I love you" notes is truly a sight that reminds me that there are lots of good people in the world.

Christmas Eve is when all of the family is home; the music is louder, there are more cookies set out (and then immediately eaten!), we play games (like Aggravation, Euchre, and Taboo), we make Christmas movie references (like, "You'll shoot your eye out, kid!" or when grabbing ANOTHER cookie, "We elves try to stick to the four major food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup!"), and we are laughing so hard that our faces hurt. We sincerely enjoy spending so much time together that we stay up until well after midnight, yet even when we are in bed we cannot fall asleep. My sister and I used to spend hours talking in bed because we were too excited to sleep on Christmas Eve. We would sneak out of our room to see if Santa had come for a visit yet; we would run down to the kitchen to get Fruit Loops cereal because we'd stayed up so long that we were hungry again, and we crept into our little brother's room to see if he was up: if he was, then we took him back to our room to share in the excitement; if he wasn't up then we woke him up until he was so wound up about Christmas that he couldn't sleep, and would therefore join us in our room.

When it was finally late enough to be considered polite to wake up the rest of the family (usually no later than 7:30am) we all gather around the Christmas tree. Bright-eyed and smiling even though exhausted, we couldn't wait to see what was wrapped for us under the tree as well as the look on the other people's faces from the gifts they received. We start of trying to have only one person opening one present at a time, and then another person opening one, like a Round-Robin game. But eventually we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of it all, and wrapping paper is flying, people are shouting "Thank You!" to the gift giver, pictures are being taken, but no one knows where the camera is or who to look at. We finally conclude opening the presents and just sit and bask in our haul; we admire our new gadgets, try on the sweaters that we now have, and figure out the rules to the new game that we will be playing later in the day. We have a big breakfast with all the fixings, and continue to explore our presents. We call family members who couldn't be with us, and wish them a Merry Christmas. We might catch a quick nap mid-morning, but only in an attempt to revive us so that we may play all of the new games throughout the day. We take turns playing each person's new game, we play cards, we listen to Christmas music, and we snack the entire day. But my favorite part of all of this is listening to the choir of laughter: whether it's because my sister can't remember which Jack is boss in this hand of Euchre, because my Mama just made some outrageously hilarious comment, or because my brother looked just like my dad when making that face, I absolutely love hearing people laugh. Laughing together. Sharing these experiences with the people you love most and being able to enjoy them together. That's what I love about Christmas. 

The last few years our Christmas traditions have changed a little. One year, after opening presents at home, I went to my then-boyfriend's house to have Christmas with his family; I felt uncomfortable and left-out at least 85% of the time. I kept thinking that I just wanted to go home and be with my little family. That was not a good Christmas day for me.
But more recently, my brother and sister have been the ones to change Christmas. My brother has been with his girlfriend for nearly two years now, and they are so cute together! However, this means that he is spending part of his holiday season with her family. Of course, we get custody of both of them at some point, also, but there is also that time where I don't get to see either of them. And I miss my little brother.
My sister has been dating her boyfriend for nearly two years as well. Once again, this means sharing the holidays with his family instead of being with us the entire time. And I miss my big sister.
Naturally, it is more fun (for me at least) when my sister brings Boyfriend home with her, and when my brother brings Girlfriend home with him, but I know that "Spending time with the In-Laws" is part of their lives now. They are able to experience more Christmas with more people; they are adding to the list of people who they care for and want to spend time with. Good for them.

Since my brother and Girlfriend have been dating so long, our entire family has become close friends with her family. We go on family outings togeher, we have each other over for game nights, and we just generally get along. There are always LOTS of laughs when we are all in one place. This year, my family is going to her family's house for Christmas Eve to watch the kids open their presents and hang out. Spending time with family and friends (old or new) and genuinely enjoying their company is part of what makes Christmas so special. 

So I know that our Christmas traditions are a little nontraditional, but they are always entertaining. We do our best to give nice presents, but are more than happy to just sit around the Christmas tree talking with one another. Our house isn't spick and span clean for the holidays like the pictures in magazines, but it's lived in: it's full of love and laughter and cookies. So, what do you think? How does my celebration compare to yours? What is your favorite part about Christmas? Let me know what you think!

 Merry Christmas!

The Little Things Mean the Most

Those who truly know me know that I come from a family where you work hard for what you have. We might not have had a lot of money, but we always had enough to get by;  I've mentioned it before in one of my posts, but often times we shopped at the local consignment shop, bought generic brand cereal, and were (and still are) big believers in hand-me-downs. Some of you reading this might think how sad that sort of life is, but I am here to tell you that there is no reason to feel sorry for me. Loretta Lynn said it best with her lyrics "We were poor, but we had love. That's the one thing that Daddy made sure of."
To me, it's always been the little things that matter the most. Sure, the big gestures are nice, but the little details are what tug at my heartstrings.

One of my favorite examples comes from watching my parents. My mom loves Coca-Cola. She couldn't care less about having soft drinks in the house, but she likes to have a coke with supper. Most of the time she keeps close tabs on how many cokes she has left and will restock before she completely runs out of her drink of choice; every once in a while, however, life slips up on mom and she doesn't realize that there aren't any cokes in the house. None in the freezer, none in the refrigerator, and none in any of her "secret hiding places." She really wants to drink a coke with dinner (since we only drink one soda per day), but she doesn't want to leave the house again since it's the end of the day, and she can't really justify spending the money on more soft drinks. Being married for 32 years, Dad knows how much Mom enjoys her Coca-Cola, and notices when she is down to one can, and when she will be busy and not have time to go to the grocery to restock. Like a knight in shining armor, he uses his spare change to stop at a convenience store to pick up a single can of coke, just for mom. When he walks in with the ice-cold soda just as dinner is being put on the table, Mom looks up at him as if she is seeing him for the first time and instantly falling in love: her eyes get really big, her shoulders drop, and she has this goofy smile because she is so happy that she doesn't know what else to do. Dad doesn't have to do this for her, but he knows that she only drinks Coke; he does this simple act because it makes her happy. And while she is grateful for the cold Coke, I think part of what makes her so happy is knowing that Dad loves and cares for her so much that he would do this for her. Just that fact that he made this effort to make her happy is what makes her happy.

That whole scene makes me say "D'aww!" and I remember that life is really about the little moments. Don't get me wrong, the big moments are meaningful, too. But we must remember that all the little moments added up to help create the big moments. The following is just a short list of some of the simple things that make me smile:

A baby laughing
A stranger holding the door for you and smiling
Drinking a juice box
Feeling pretty without wearing makeup
Hot summer days in the pool
"Good Morning Beautiful" messages
Finding the perfect color nail polish
Laughing so hard that you cry, and then laughing even more
Lights from a Christmas Tree giving off a light glow to the room
Disney movies
When the good guy gets the girl
The Beach (no matter what the weather)
Comfy pants and over-sized sweatshirts
Sneaking a cookie before supper
Being bundled under a quilt on a cold night
Finding a song that fits your mood exactly
Puddle Jumping after a big rainstorm
Sliding down the hall in slick socks
Winning Scrabble against a teacher
Driving with the windows down and the radio up
Humming Doris Day songs while making brownies
Feeling exhilarated after doing something risky
Inside jokes with best friends


To you, these things might seem trivial and unimportant. But to me, these are what makes life wonderful. It isn't about how big your new flat screen TV is, but rather how many people are sitting around the TV with you making the night more interesting. It isn't about how much you possess, but how much love and life is in your heart. That is what makes the difference to me. I mean, even the movie Zombieland used this motto. Zombieland survival rule #32: Enjoy the little things. So, what do you think? Do you appreciate the little things in life, or do you relish in the large moments most? What are some of the simple things that make you smile? How does my list stack up? Can you think of anything to add to my list? Let me know what you think! 

Sometimes I Wonder...

Normally I'm the happiest person in the world. I'm unnaturally peppy; I can find a silver lining in the darkest of storms, when everyone else has abandoned ship. But I'm not just a blonde bobble-head with glitter for brains. Sometimes I wonder...



Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't moved away from Indianapolis.
Would I be the same person I am now? Would I have the same morals and ideals?


Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had been like all the other girls.
Sometimes I wonder if my independence made me a target.
Or did I simply separate myself in an attempt to keep myself from being judged negatively and hurt?


Sometimes I wonder: If I hadn't tried so hard to succeed, would I have had friends in high school?
Sometimes I wonder if I would have been happy with myself had I not tried so hard.
Was that just a time in my life where I had to deal with trials and troubles to understand how lucky I was in other ways?


Sometimes I wonder if I should have skipped going to college.
I really loved performing. Was I supposed to pursue a career in music, even after having my lung surgery?

Sometimes I wonder if I should have said "yes" to any of the three men who proposed to me.
But I know that I didn't love any of them, and I wouldn't have been happy, even if I was taken care of.
Sometimes I wonder if another man will ask me to marry him in the future.
Sometimes I wonder if I am just better off alone.Will I be the lonely old woman that everyone calls Aunt because she doesn't have a family of her own?
And then I wonder if I am capable of love.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm silly for not being more career-minded. But then I remember how much I love just being a momma.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever have children of my own, or if I will serve as a momma to those children whose real mothers don't truly appreciate them.


Sometimes I wonder if I'm too sensitive.
Are my feelings too easily hurt, or are people actually that hateful?
Sometimes I wonder if I've had a positive impact on anyone's life. And then I can't think of an example that would set my mind at ease.


Sometimes I wonder if anyone would notice if I ran away.
Then, if they noticed, would they care?
Would anyone come looking for me?


I know that my family loves me, they are obligated to.
But sometimes I wonder if they like me?
Do they tolerate me because they are required to, or are they genuinely interested in me as a person?


Sometimes I wonder if I will be going through the motions my entire life.
Or will I find something that makes me happy?
Are people disappointed in me because I could have done more with my life?


I know that this isn't my typical upbeat and entertaining post. But I've been wondering about a lot of things lately and needed to get them off my chest. Maybe me writing these down and putting them out there for the world to see will help someone else; let people know that they aren't alone. And just because someone puts on a happy face doesn't mean that their life is perfect and care-free. You never know what troubles a beautiful smile might be masking. Surely someone out there can relate to one of these topics...

Socially Awkward Willyam

Last week I took a shortcut with my post. I gave you all something to talk about, sure, but most of the information was from Glynis McCants the Numerologist (for more information see the post "So, Listen....Can I Have Yo Numba?!") To make up for it this week, I'm posting an Only-Katelyn story. This one has all the complications that come with going on a date in addition to my unfortunate-yet-entertaining luck, so that should keep my readers interested. Here's hoping you enjoy reading, but never encounter Willyam The Socially Awkward.

Willyam first asked me on a date via Facebook. That isn't a big deal considering that most of my communication is done with Facebook's help, and most people use technology to talk to each other rather than actually talking to each other. What struck me as odd was where he wanted to meet for our first date: he wanted to meet in downtown Louisville at a park at 9:00pm close to the river bottoms. STRIKE ONE! I agreed to meet him, but on the condition that we changed the place and the time. Instead of his plan, I suggested that we meet at a local mall on a Sunday afternoon (this way there were lots of people around, it was daylight, I knew where I was, and I had to leave by a certain time for church. It worked out perfectly!) It was a decent date, as first dates go. Nothing too out of the ordinary this time: we ate, talked, walked around the mall, and then went our separate ways. I was sweet, charming, funny, and I asked questions about him so I could get to know him better. I thought it was a decent first date. Two days after that date, I get a message from him saying that it's better if we're just friends. At this point, I'm a little confused, but not mad at all. The week before, Willyam had showered me with compliments and told me of his plan to marry me and take me with him everywhere. Now, he up and decides that he just wants to be friends.You know what, cool. I wasn't madly in love with him, I didn't know him that well anyway, so I was totally cool with just being friends.
A week after declaring that he needed to "cut his losses," Willyam sends me a message saying that he was wrong for saying what he did, and that he would really like to take me out again. STRIKE TWO! I want a man who makes a decision and stands by it; I don't want someone who flip-flops his answers because he can't make up his mind. Plus, I'm not a fan of anyone deciding that I'm not good enough for them to date, and then for their friend to change their mind; however, I do believe in giving second chances, so I told Willyam that I would have to think about going out on a date with him again.

Flash forward a few weeks. Willyam and I are casually chatting online. He says that he needs to get offline because he's going to take his roommate out to dinner since they won't be living together much longer. Then he adds, "I would take you out to a nice dinner if you would ever go out on a date with me again." I decided that I would try to give him the benefit of the doubt, and agreed to go out on another date. As soon as I tell him my decision, he says, "Great! I think we should get ice cream."
Wait....You say that you'll take me out to a nice dinner and show me a good time, but as soon as I accept, you lower the deal and are only willing to get ice cream with me...? What I'm hearing is that you didn't expect me to agree to the date, but when I do, you have to lower your bid because I'm not good enough for the original offer. STRIKE THREE!  Against my better judgment, I still went on the date because I had already given my word. I arrive at the ice cream shop at 6:30 sharp, the agreed upon meeting time, but to my surprise Willyam is nowhere to be found. Now, I can understand running into traffic and being a little bit late; however, my rule is that I will wait twenty minutes for someone to show up. After that, I leave and don't turn back. Willyam finally arrived at 6:48. For those of you keeping track at home, he was 18 minutes late. Needless to say, I was not a happy girl. But he did finally arrive. When we stepped up to the counter to place our orders he told me that if I ordered for us, he would pay. Of course I took him up on that. So I told the lady behind the counter what type of ice cream Willyam wanted, a single scoop, in a cup. Then I told her that "I wanted peanut butter chocolate chunk, double scoop, and in a large waffle cone because he was late!"  The lady taking our order cracked up laughing. I figured this would be a good deterrent for him to not be late anymore. (*evil smile*) After getting our dessert, things eased up a bit. We had pretty good conversation, I made him laugh, and we both had a good time; granted, at times our conversations were a little awkward because he chose seats at a bar in front of the window. So when we talked, he wouldn't look directly at me, but would instead look at my reflection in the window. I thought it was a little odd, but chalked it up to him being nervous. It was odd, but not a complete dealbreaker.

Since the second date had gone fairly well, I figured things could only get better on the third date. Willyam wouldn't be as nervous, we would have good entertainment (we went to see Skyfall!), we would have something to talk about afterwards, and it was the weekend, so I wouldn't have to be up (as early) the next morning and could therefore enjoy myself.
I was wrong. Very wrong.
About a half hour before I needed to leave for the theater, I get a message from Willyam telling me that he's excited about seeing me tonight. Aww, that's sweet. When I respond and tell him that I'm excited, too, he informs me that, "No, you're not excited." He didn't like the way I responded, and then told me how I felt. Not a good start to the date, Willyam. I thought to myself, "I was excited, but I'm not now. Geez." I honestly considered cancelling the date, but I'd had a long day at work, and decided that I should go out and try to have a little fun.
At last, I make it to the cinema and catch up to Willyam. [He wasn't late this time! hehe!] But once inside our theater, he would hardly talk to me. We chatted politely, but not anymore than acquaintances would while in an elevator. I was so relieved when the movie started (and not just because I love Daniel Craig as James Bond!). We'd both mentioned being hungry, so when the movie let out I recommended that we stop at the Steak-and-Shake next door to get a few milkshakes, nothing fancy. Without missing a beat, Willyam turns to me and says, "Wow. You're an expensive date." I was so flabbergasted that I couldn't say anything. I finally stumbled through the words "I can just go home, if you'd like. I have no problem with that." He laughed it away, and insisted that I get something to eat with him. Reluctantly, I went. Looking back, I should have left right then, but I didn't know how bad things were going to get. Once inside the restaurant, he wouldn't look at me. He was playing Text-Tag with his former roommate most of our meal, and when he did talk to me, he wanted to talk about a girl he used to date that I am friends with. Trying to get the conversation going, I told him about my day, what was going on in my life, and a few things that were on my mind. But as before, when I said something, Willyam responded in his unique way. "You're boring."  That's all he said, and then dropped his head to answer his new text message. Once again not knowing exactly what to say (or perhaps wanting to maintain my Lady status and not say anything that I would regret later) I occupied the remaining time by people-watching the other customers around, as well as genuinely enjoying everything the Russian waitress had to say. STRIKE FOUR! You can probably guess that by this time I was annoyed, insulted, perturbed, and completely confused. I gave several attempts at making conversation, went out of my way to him a second chance, and this is what happens..?! That's it. I'm done. We can be friendly, sure, but there is no way that I'm ever going on another date with this guy again.
A few days later, I get another message from Willyam. He asks me if I want to be his girlfriend (are you kidding me?!) and I quickly answer no. After answering no, and Willyam clarifying that there is no way that I want to be his girlfriend, he asks me a strange question: "So, since you won't go out with me, will you help me figure out how to get this other girl I've been dating to be my girlfriend?" STRIKE FIVE! Not three minutes after I decline your request of a relationship, you ask me to help you seal the deal on a relationship with another girl you've been seeing at the same time as me. You are seriously socially inept if you think that I'm going to be Little Miss Mary Sunshine about this. I had my moments of sarcasm at his expense, but then begrudgingly agreed to point out some of the reasons that made me decide to not date him. What he did with the information was his business. (Call me soft-hearted or whatever you want, but I can't hardly stand to not help someone when they ask for it, no matter how silly the request.)
A few days pass with Willyam and I on our "friends-only" status. He sends me a message as I'm getting ready for bed, so at this point, I'm completely wiped out from my crazy-busy day, and the only thing I want to do is crawl under my quilt and pass out. Nicely, I explain this to Willyam; instead of politely saying goodnight, or something along those lines, he whines because no one will talk to him. I feel a tinge of guilt, so I ask what he means by his previous statement. He reveals that he had intended on talking to Emily (the girl he was courting the same time that he was courting me), but that she was either asleep or ignoring him. So he had to settle for talking to me "because a man isn't really a man if he doesn't have a woman to talk to at the end of the day." So basically, I was his back-up plan because the girl he wanted didn't want to talk to him (although I can't say that I blame the girl....haha), but he still needed someone to validate his life. STRIKE SIX!  That was the absolute last straw. I could understand a few oddities, and accept the fact that Willyam was a Socially Awkward Turtle. But with his last few dumb moves, he elevated into the Jerk Neighborhood. I refuse to be someone's back up plan, no matter what the situation is. No. Not happening. With this final blow, I wiped my hands of Willyam, and am more than satisfied with my decision.  I mean, by this time in baseball, I would have struck out two batters! It was definitely time to get this guy out of my life for good.

So, what do you think? Am I blowing things out of the water? Was Willyam not as bad a date as I thought? Or do you think I was silly to wait so long to rid my life of him? I don't get asked out on dates much, so I'm not sure where this rates on the "Wow, That Was the Worst Date of the World-O-Meter" but I'm fairly confident that it ranks high. Have you ever been out with your own Socially Awkward Willyam? If so, tell me about it! I'm really excited to see what you have to say about my dating experience, and how I reacted. Let me know what you think!

So, Listen.....Can I Have Yo Numba...?!

Numerology is the study of life through numbers. According to which number you are, you are able to identify your different strengths, weaknesses, and all that fun stuff. To find out you Life Number, you add up all the individual numbers of your complete birthday until you have a single-digit number.
For example: 05/27/1987
0+5+2+7+1+9+8+7 = 39
3+9= 12
1+2 = 3
3 is the Life Number.
I ran across this one day watching The Doctor Oz show, and thought it was neat because the description given with my number is pretty accurate. So, if you're feeling a little inquisitive and adventurous, figure out your number and read the descriptions below.(All of this information is from Glynis McCants, author of Glynis Has Your Number, and is directly from the Doctor Oz website. http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/numerology-healing-numbers )



The 1 Life Path
The 1 Life Path strives to be # 1 in all facets of their life. If they feel they are not, it can make them very unhappy. The 1 Life Path works so hard to succeed, and when they finish with one project, they move right on to the next. As a result, they don’t always make time for their bodies.
 What I have found to be the magic bullet for the 1 Life Path is physical exercise. If they don’t schedule time to exercise, their health starts to suffer. They may end up with neck pain, back pain, and knee pain. It is as if their body is crying out, and movement is the answer for the 1 Life Path. One great thing to do is yoga. If the 1 Life Path commits to doing basic breathing and stretching yoga poses, they will feel so much better!


The 2 Life Path
The 2 Life Path is known for having a big heart, and loves deeply. I sometimes hear stories like, “The woman died of a broken heart.” If I am able to get the birth numbers of that person, I often find that they were a 2 Life Path. The 2 Life Path feels things intensely, and their lesson in life is to learn to have healthy emotional boundaries. My analogy for the 2 Life Path is if someone fell in a well and said, “Can you help me?” They would jump right in, and say, “What’s wrong?!”
So if the 2 Life Path can create a healthy emotional boundary, they will feel much better. Depression is a symptom a 2 can experience. If they spend too much time trying to please everyone, they end up putting themselves in last place. To alleviate this problem, many of my 2 Life Path clients will join group therapy, or any type of group where they can talk about what is going on in their life. This makes a huge difference. Once the a 2 Life Path learns to make themselves a priority, it improves their mental and physical health.



The 3 Life Path
The 3 Life Path is the communicator and need to express themselves. If they feel they are not being heard, I have seen it frequently lead to issues with their throat, such as a very sore throat, or laryngitis – an actual inability to speak. If you are a 3 Life Path and you are in a relationship where you feel what you say does not matter, you may want to re-evaluate the relationship and consider moving on. Another great idea is to write a letter to the person who is troubling you instead of trying to talk about it. Tell the person to read your thoughts, and agree to discuss it at a later time.
I cover this topic in my book, and give special affirmations to the 3, so that their ability to verbally communicate is no longer jeopardized. I am a 3 Life Path, and years ago, I often lost my voice because I didn’t feel heard; when I started doing affirmations, I never lost my voice again.


The 4 Life Path
The 4 Life Path likes to have structure in their life. The fact that “A+B does equal C” is comforting to them. When life gets out of their control, and they feel they can’t fix it, it is very common for the 4 Life Path to get a major headache. And if the 4 feels really overwhelmed, it can actually lead to panic attacks. If you are a 4 Life Path, the next time you feel a headache coming on, take a look at your environment and see what is making you feel out of control. By being aware that you have done what you need to do, you can stop that headache before it becomes a real problem.
The other thing a 4 Life Path can do to alleviate stress is to get outside with nature, such as gardening or walking in park – kicking your shoes off and feeling the actual grass on your feet makes all the difference! The 4 must learn to deal with the fact that they can’t control everything, and focus on just their part. If they do an excellent job on their assignment, and know that the rest is truly not their problem, they will avoid these potential health issues.


The 5 Life Path
It is hard for the 5 Life Path to relax. The 5 needs to have a lot of freedom in their life. If they feel trapped, they sometimes find unhealthy ways to escape such as drinking a little too much, or working nonstop.  Since the 5 Vibration operates at such a high frequency, they have to be very careful with prescription drugs, because if they take the wrong ones, it can really backfire. Altering their mind can lead to excess drama in their lives. The 5 must be careful with what they put in their body, and it is actually very smart for them to seek out herbal and homeopathic remedies.


The 6 Life Path
The 6 Life Paths are nurturers, and also need to be in charge. I believe that the 6 Life Path is always trying to save the planet, and as a result, they have to be careful not to become the size of the planet. Their fear is that if they don’t do it, it won’t get done. It is important that a 6 find a nutritional balance in their life. They must do what they can to avoid mindless eating while they are taking care of everyone else in their life.
The 6 female has to be careful not to “over-mother” and “over-protect” her children. Otherwise, it is very common for the 6 female to have issues with her breasts, such as lumps, cysts etc. They must learn to release their children and trust they will be okay. The 6 Life Path is so used to damage control, they have a fear, that if it gets too quiet, it must be “ the calm before the storm.” When life is running smoothly, they need to say out loud, “It’s going good and I deserve it.” Making a habit of saying this will really make a difference!


The 7 Life Path
Although the 7 can be social, they really need their privacy and sacred space. If a 7 feels they can’t have their special time alone, they will be miserable and find unhealthy ways to escape, just like the 5 Life Path. To stay healthy, it would be wise for the 7 to keep a journal to purge their thoughts. The 7 is the Vibration that needs to find a base of faith they can believe in, or they can become cynical. While they work on the spiritual side of who they are, it actually helps them on a mental and physical level. Note: The water has a very calming effect on the 7. When the 7 is troubled, if they can get to the ocean or another body of water, they will start to feel better. Even just taking a warm bubble bath, hitting the pool or hot tub will bring some peace to the 7 Life Path.


The 8 Life Path
In my Numerology research, it is not uncommon for an 8 Life Path to have health issues early on that they need to overcome. It is important for the 8 to stay keenly aware of any health issues that may arise and nip it in the bud. Since the 8 Life Path is here to establish financial security, they can get so caught in their work, or taking care of family, that they may ignore the early physical symptoms that can become a real problem later on. For example, if their back hurts a little bit, and they ignore it, the back can go completely out at a later time. If something in their body doesn’t feel right, they should not let time pass before looking into it.
Note: It is not uncommon for the 8 Life Path to have lower back pain when they are feeling really stressed. I do give affirmations in my book to help them counteract that.
Additionally, the 8 can sometimes feel like the world is out to get them, and end up feeling very victimized. To pull them out of that slump, I suggest comedic movies that make them laugh, and music that makes them want to dance!


The 9 Life Path
The 9 Life Path is a very responsible Vibration, and they have a hard time asking for help, even when they really need it. They often believe that “If you loved me, you’d know what I need from you,” which is so often not the case. The other problem the 9 has is releasing the past. If their childhood was difficult, they often hang onto the pain, and that can lead to unhappiness. So the 9 Life Path must learn how to stay in the moment, and embrace today.
They must learn to ask for help when they need it. They tend to hold their stress in their shoulders and neck; I see this as symbolic because they carry “the weight of the world” on their shoulders. The 9 should regularly get a head and neck message if at all possible. That release will help them feel so much better. To save money, the 9 could invest in a head and neck massager they can operate by themselves. This will do wonders for the 9 Life Path.




I'm not saying that I believe every word of this and that I am now a strict Numerologist. I just thought it was neat. What do you think? Did your number accurately reflect your life? If so, what is your number and some examples that go along with the description? Did you enjoy reading about your Life Path, and possibly figuring out part of what makes you tick? I hope this was fun, and if nothing else, it can serve as a conversation starter over Thanksgiving! Have a Happy Thanksgiving weekend, and as always, I can't wait to hear what you have to say.

Are You Sure You Like Me...?

I love and take care of a lot of high school girls. And like most girls that age, my girls are having issues with the boys in their lives. The troubles vary from person to person, but a common theme I've heard is that the guys flirt with them, but then cut them down. Now, this isn't flirtatious-teasing that goes on in most relationships; these are personal digs meant to belittle the person they are directed toward.

I consider myself a very independent person. So, when a guy that is trying to "talk" to me points out one of my actions that was not as independent as it could have been, I am taken aback. My jaw drops and I squint my eyes in the "I can't believe you just said that to me" look that I have mastered. I get defensive and lose interest in anything else that he has to say. So I can definitely understand what my girls are talking about.

One girl in particular, let's call her Brittany, has struggled with her body image. Like her Momma, (that would be me!) she is a thick girl [for the definition of being a thick girl, read my previous post "You Don't Get to Comment on My Body!"]. Since Brittany is in high school, she is not as comfortable with her beautiful body as she should be, but she is working on loving and feeling comfortable with herself. Brittany is courting this guy who knows that she isn't always content with how she looks, and usually things are A-Okay. There are times, though, when this guy will comment on how Brittany looks: "That shirt makes you look fat," or "You're looking a little chunky today. Did you have extra dessert last night?"
When I hear stories like this, personally, I want to drop-kick this punk. Being in a relationship of any kind, is about supporting and helping the other person. It's not about asserting yourself as the most powerful or the best. The relationship is give and take, back and forth, with love and support, not cutting one person down to make yourself look or feel better.

To me, it seems as if this is not the best start to a healthy relationship. In fact, it is nowhere near "best start," but closer to the neighborhood of "This feels hinky..." Sure Mr. Wonderful says all the right things most of the time, but when he says the wrong thing, it is completely wrong. This isn't the typical male "I can't say anything right" but a more serious version. This is where he says something that hurts you as a person. He makes you feel insecure and like a child, or like you are beneath him, in a relationship where you should feel like his equal. I see this as a way of asserting his dominance and power; that is a situation you do not want to be in. That will not end well for you, honey.

Maybe I've got it all wrong: maybe when guys say things like this, they are really just trying to impress us. They want us to know how well they are doing for themselves so that we will be more attracted to them.  Maybe he thinks that he is flirting, but in reality has no idea how obnoxious he is acting, and how much we are starting to hate him. "Oh yeah, he's big and strong, and can do all these things. I love him! *Swoon* " Nope. That's not what we're thinking. It's more like, "Wow, What a jerk?!"

Like I said, maybe I've got it wrong. Maybe homeboy really is a good guy and just doesn't realize what he sounds like when saying these terrible things. Maybe he is just trying to impress you with how AMAZING he is.  But you have to trust your gut on this. If you feel like things aren't going well, if you find yourself in similar situations and are uncomfortable with them, then get out. Cut your losses, dump the loser, and find a guy who appreciates all of who you are. One who builds you up instead of breaking you down.

I know that I and my girls can't be the only ones who have had these "Are you sure that you like me....?" thoughts and situations. So, what are some of your stories? Were you ever involved with a jerk, and if so, what did you do? From a guy's point of view, am I on the wrong track? Is there something in the Guy Code that explains this ridiculous behavior, and I've just missed it? As always, I look forward to hearing what you have to say!

You Don't Get to Comment on My Body

I'm a little scatter-brained while writing this particular post, so bear with me. I may go off on random tangents, but the overall theme of today's post is that you shouldn't judge another person's body.


I am not a stick-figure girl. Trust me when I say that I am well aware of that; however, this does not mean that I am fat. A friend of mine once described me as THICK: curvy in all the right places. I have boobs, I have a butt, my thighs are thick, and I have a bit of a tummy. I'm okay with all of this. But that does not mean that you get are allowed to say anything about my features (especially in a negative way).

I don't care if you're a size 0 and think me and my size 12 self are too big to be shopping in a particular section. Keep it to yourself. I don't want to hear it, and you really don't want to hear my response. (Yes, this has actually happened to me.)

It doesn't matter that you are one of the students I tutor. You can't say that you talked your best bro out of dating some chick because she was too big to handle, kind of like me. No. That is completely unacceptable.You say something like that to me, and I hope you fail your big test that we were working so hard on. 

It makes no difference that you consider yourself a ladies-man when you waltz up to me and tell me that "I'm stretching out those jeans to the max, and you'd love to get a handful." Seriously? Seriously?! Has that line ever worked? What makes you think you could say something like that to me, and not walk away with at least an earful (and you're lucky if that's all you get.)

So my body type isn't the fashionable style. So I have trouble buying clothes because I'm not teeny tiny, nor am I huge (I'm that awkward in-between size). So what if you don't like the way I look. My body was not designed to fit your frame. I am a healthy, happy, beautiful, and confident woman. You don't have to like the way I look, but you do have to respect me.

"We know how beautiful we are. Men know it too. It's the fashion houses that have to catch up." 

Make no mistake, this rule of not judging a body applies to everyone. I will not comment on your body and try to tell you how to take care of yourself physically. On the contrary, I might get obnoxious when asking if you want another cookie, but that is just because I really like cookies and want everyone to enjoy them as much as I do. (There is one exception to this say-nothing rule: If I seriously think you have a disorder (such as anorexia, bulimia, etc...) I will mention something to you. I just want you to be healthy, no matter what size you are. If you think you have to starve yourself in order to be "beautiful" then there are issues that need to be addressed. And I would expect someone to do the same thing to me if they honest-to-goodness thought I had an eating disorder.) 


Having this body type since I was 13 years old, I know from experience that it is not always easy to feel confident about yourself, especially when it concerns your physical appearance. For those ladies out there who feel self-conscious about the way they look, I am here to tell you that there is no reason for that. Kellie Pickler said it best in her song Don't You Know You're Beautiful with the lyrics "Now I know you'd give everything just to fit it/ but your worth aint on a pricetag/ it comes from within.. You are a beautiful person, no matter what the rest of the world says. I know that kids (and even society) can be ruthless when it comes to appearances; know that you are better than that. You don't have to fit their model of what makes someone attractive. As long as you have confidence in yourself, other people will see that and find you attractive because of your personality. Besides, there are far more women out there who are "Plus Size" than there are size 2s. Trust me when I say that having curves is not a bad thing. It is not hopeless. You may get frustrated when trying to find clothes that you fit you properly while in the department stores, but there are other places that cater to women with hourglass figures (such as www.pinupgirlclothing.com )



What do you all think? Am I being too defensive about my body? Should I welcome other people's criticisms and use them to improve myself? Should everyone try to fit into the societal view of stick-thin beauty? Did you have body-image issues when you were growing up?  As always, let me know what you think about this post (not about my body, about this post...) 

 

Good Characteristics of a Murderess

Halloween: a time to dress up and be something you aren't. OR a time to dress up and show people who you really are, instead of the mask you wear year-round. Whichever suits you, this time of year also means that there are fun movies on. Hocus Pocus, Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, and The Addams Family are a few of the movies that I love watching. I've watched them so many times that I quote the lines alone with the actors and geek out every time. :)

After being in a schlump for a few days, I finally caught "The Addams Family Values" on television, and that instantly improved my mood. Gomez and Morticia with their silly accents, Wednesday and Pugsley experimenting with different torture techniques, and Uncle Fester just being Uncle Fester. What caught my attention about the movie this time was Debbie Jellinsky: the nanny who marries Uncle Fester and turns out to be the Black Widow murderess. That was it. I was going to be Debbie Jellinsky for Halloween. As any other just-out-of-college kid would do, I changed my Facebook picture to one of Debbie. I thought it was funny. My friend Westley sees the picture and asks me "what the lady with the gun represents" to me. 
Then I started thinking about why I was drawn to her. What was it about Debbie Jellinsky that I could relate to? This is what I came up with.

She's smart.
Debbie knew what she was doing when she applied for the nanny position in the Addams household. She had done her research and knew that she had to convince Uncle Fester to marry her. She knew that he was awkward and juvenile, and used that to her advantage in achieving what she wanted. She didn't waltz up to the Addams mansion, and immediately expect Uncle Fester to fall in love with her. Oh no. She observed him and his habits, learned his style, and adjusted her tactics accordingly. That's smart.


Determination.
Debbie knew what she wanted and she went for it. She didn't take no for an answer. While her methods are unconventional and illegal, that does not change the fact that she was a determined woman who did whatever it took for her to reach her goals. While the thought of marrying Uncle Fester repulsed her, Debbie was determined to marry him for his fortune. She overcame the ridiculous obstacle in front of her so that she could complete her objective.


Independence.
Anyone who knows me is aware that I am independent. It makes sense that I am drawn to people who are also independent. She has spent her entire life moving from one family to another, but it has always been on her terms. She didn't wait for someone to push her aside or decide that she wasn't worth their time. No. She left the situations when they no longer suited her needs, and she moved on according to what she wanted, not what other people wanted for her.
"Malibu Barbie? Are you kidding? That's not who I was. I wanted Ballerina Barbie. I was a ballerina!"


She's Strong.
Debbie Jellinsky can totally take care of herself.While she is physically strong (i.e. being able to wield an axe, dealing with the kick of a shotgun, maneuvering all of those electric chairs), she also shows her strength as a person.  She doesn't need a man to take care of her (she just needs the man's money), she has self-confidence and doesn't care what other people think about her, and she is not afraid to be herself. She may have used unconventional methods, and she was more than likely clinically insane, but Debbie Jellinsky was definitely her own woman, and I respect her for that.
"You're mad. Absolutely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret....all the best people are!"

So, there it is. Debbie Jellinsky may have been crazy, but I thought she had spunk. What do you think? Am I stretching by finding these positive qualities in a murderess? Am I a little crazy for thinking so much of the Black Widow? As always, I can't wait to hear what you have to say....Happy Halloween!

Looking Out for Number One

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about helping other people even when they are not able to help you in return ("It's a New Life for Me, and I'm Feeling Good"). In this post I talked about how we should be willing to help others even if it does not benefit us in any way; do a good deed, don't expect anything in return, just be nice for the sake of being nice. Well, you will not believe how many comments I've received about that particular post. So, this is my follow-up to that post. Let's see if we can get things straightened out a little, or if this only causes more confusion and comments.

I stand by what I said in the former post: we should be willing to help other people in need even if it does us no good; however, I also think that we should not enable a person in a bad situation at our own expense.

There is a difference between helping a stranger to her car because it's a shady neighborhood, dark outside, and has her hands full, and giving your only $20 for groceries for your family to the man down the street. In the first scenario, you are helping someone who is not able to return the favor, but you aren't sacrificing the well-being of yourself. In the second situation, while you would be helping a person in need, you are also sacrificing the health and needs of your family. Perhaps this is just me being selfish, but I think you should take care of yourself and of those directly under your care before you try to take care of the rest of the world. Yes, sometimes this means that you are not able to help others, but it means survival for those people closest to you.

Here's an example:
A single mother working two jobs and raising her infant daughter has managed to set a strict budget so that she can pay rent, buy groceries, and still have some free time to spend with her daughter. This woman has a friend that is struggling financially, and needs to borrow money from the single mother. My advice would be to tell the friend "Sorry, but I can't help you. I have a little girl to take care of." I might offer to help the friend in a different way (such as letting her crash at my house for a while, helping her look for a job, etc), but I would not forgo my daughter's health and security for the benefit of a friend, even.

The quote that I feel most accurately depicts my thoughts is "Being taken care of is nice; taking care of yourself is better." I know that life is rough. Everyone goes through hard times and needs help getting back on their feet in one way or another. And asking for help is acceptable. As long as you are not constantly asking for a hand-out. Maybe it is my stubbornness, or just my independent side, but I honestly believe that most people should be able to take care of themselves in everyday circumstances. I grew up in a house that didn't have a lot of money, but we always had what we needed. We didn't ask for other people to help us with our money troubles, but instead figured out what we could live without. I think it is absolutely ridiculous for someone to accept help with buying groceries or paying rent (the basic amenities for life) when they are perfectly able to buy a new flat-screen TV, or spend their entire paycheck on alcohol. I would seriously be embarrassed of myself to ask for any one's help in that sort of situation. I do not have the latest technology, I purchase my clothes from consignment shops, and I buy generic brand cereal. But I am taking care of myself. I'm not asking other people to take care of me because it's more convenient.

I suppose that I have gone on a tangent in this post, and I'm sorry about that. But I'm not sorry for what I said. While I believe that we should be willing to help out another person in need, I also think that we need to think about our actions, and be willing to put ourselves (and our families) before the needs of others. Also, don't be one of those people that asks for help all the time, gets other people to do the hard work for you, and then just skate by. Grow up. Learn how to take care of yourself and don't push that responsibility off to someone else.

Once again, I can't wait to hear what you have to say about this post. Am I being unrealistic for thinking that people should be able to support themselves? Do you think that I am heartless for saying that you need to take care of yourself and your family before trying to help everyone else? Do my explanations make sense, or do you think that I am contradicting myself by saying to help people when it will not benefit you, but that sometimes you have to look out for number one? Let me know what you think.

If You're Going to Insult Me At Least Get Creative!

This is one of those posts where I am frustrated by something happening. There may be parts that are entertaining (where if you saw me giving this rant in person you would stand back and wait for me to explode), but this isn't really a "funny" post. Just a heads up.

I know that name-calling is part of every person's life. It is a way of belittling the person you are arguing with, and making them feel inferior so that you can win the fight. I understand this, and know that it serves a function (enjoy Sociology friends); however, there are certain names that I absolutely hate being called. Actually, I can only think of one name that I absolutely hate being called: bitch. (I hate this word so much that I will not use it in the rest of this post.)

I've had my fair share of disagreements (because apparently I'm stubborn. Who knew?!"). Some ended with both parties agreeing to disagree, some where one person changed his mind, but there were also those fights where the other person became belligerent, wouldn't listen to reason, and started name-calling. As soon as he got to the point where he was slinging insults, you can bet that one of the first words coming out of his mouth was "B". Now, I think it is sad that this specific term is the go-to insult when arguing with, or describing a woman. It's so generic, tells the audience nothing specific about her actions, only that the person opposite this woman disagrees with whatever she is doing. Maybe if people gave more accurate descriptions of why they don't like the woman they're talking to, I could more readily understand the issues. But simply yelling that she is a Queen Bee will only make me think less of you, not her.

Maybe this is one of those times where I am not the average woman; maybe other women prefer this single-word insult as opposed to a several-word description of their faults. I'm not sure why this term drives me so crazy, but I genuinely hate when people use it, especially against me!

Now that we've established that I am not like the average woman...

I would literally rather be hit than for someone to call me a "witch." Honestly. Take a swing at me, try your luck at giving me a black eye, but don't use THAT word. I know how to defend myself against an opponent trying to hit me: I can block their attack, I can hit back, and I can guarantee that my adversary will be in more pain than I was. I don't really have that when responding to people calling me a Wench. When people use that word as a weapon, it throws me into a stupor and I am literally shocked at their ignorance. I know that I cannot come up with an adequate insult to throw at them because they will not be as offended by my words as I am at theirs, and that makes me angry. I know that my verbal skills are not the best weapon in my arsenal, so my immediate response when I get SO angry is to use my strength and feisty fighting tactics; however, before I have the chance to act on those "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" urges, reason kicks in and reminds me that it's illegal to go around beating people (even if I think I have a good reason for it). My desire to stay out of jail has kept me from pulverizing a few people, so when an argument gets to this point I have to make myself walk away from the situation. Of course, since I was not exactly able to defeat my opponent (at least in the way I wanted), later when I see him I imagine that my eyes are lasers and every time I blink I am wounding him the same way that his word hurt me.

Now, the ideal solution would be for people to not fight; however, I'm realistic and know that will never happen. So, what I'm asking is that if you're going to insult me at least get creative. I will respect you more if you call me a string of graphic and expressive slurs instead of the one-word retort mentioned earlier.
Also, if, after reading this post, you feel the need to push the boundaries and call me a Queen Bee, be prepared for me to deck you with everything I have. I might be a "little bitty white girl," but I have a mean Right Cross.

Thus ends the rant.

The Philosophy Creeper

It's time for one of my "Only Katelyn" stories.
Periodically, I will share stories of experiences that have actually happened to me. They may seem unbelievable, but I promise that I can't make these things up. I am nowhere near that creative. So, without further delay, this is the story of my Philosophy Creeper.

My last semester of college I was enrolled in an upper-level philosophy class. Let me make it perfectly clear that I was not a philosophy major, minor, or anything of the sort. It just so happened that the class fit my schedule, had enough credit hours so I could graduate on time, and I was fortunate enough to have a friend who was getting his Doctorate degree in Philosophy to help me out if I was having trouble. (Thanks Joshua, I would have been in serious trouble with that class if it hadn't been for you!) Anyway, this is a ridiculously difficult class, with a professor that gets sidetracked and drones on about off the wall topics, and just happens to be in the time slot right before lunch (that time when you have been awake for 6 hours and are getting sleepy, but can't focus because you are so hungry). Needless to say, this class was not the easiest for me to pay attention in, but I was determined to do my best. Even with 18 sleeping students, a teacher that sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher when he talks, and me being eternally exhausted, I was bound and determined to get a good grade in this philosophy class.

One day, towards the beginning of the semester, in an attempt to stay awake and pay attention, I turned around in my desk. I thought if I popped my back and moved a little that I would wake up and be more attentive. (Plus, I wanted to see who was snoring in the back of the class. haha!) When I was turned around and stretching, I noticed that another student was awake; the basketball player sitting behind me diagonally was awake and doodling on his notebook. I thought, "He found a way to keep himself occupied and awake. Drawing. Good for him."
...That's when curiosity got the best of me...
Whether it was an attempt to get my mind back to a solid (instead of the grey mush that was dripping out of my ears from being so bored in class) or me simply being nosy, I wanted to see what the basketball player was drawing. So, I looked. My first thought was that he was a pretty good artist. He was drawing some girl, and it was a really good picture. Then I realized that the girl he was drawing was me. "Maybe you're just imagining that he is drawing you. Yeah, that's it," I thought. So I looked again. Yep, it was definitely me that he was drawing. Believe it or not, this didn't freak me out. I assumed that the basketball player was just really bored and drawing me because I was the only other person awake in class. I just shrugged it off as a one time thing.
That is where I was wrong.
After knowing that he had drawn me once before, I was compelled to see who or what the basketball player was drawing the next day in class. Because this is an "Only Katelyn" story, I bet you can guess who he was drawing. That's right, me again. I guess I am an interesting person to draw because this guy would draw me every time he was in class. Literally every time. He would draw me as if he was looking at me from different angles, he would draw me so that I was standing up and other times sitting at my desk. He drew beauty shots of me (where the only thing in the picture was my face and shoulders) and he drew couture pictures of me (as if I were wearing elegant gowns, (which I never wore to class, so he was getting really creative here!)). He dedicated a few pages to drawing only my face: sometimes I was serious-looking, sometimes I was smiling, and once I was smirking. Then there were the days that he brought in colored pencils to amp up his artwork; he used a specific blue pencil to add coloring when drawing my very unique ring (so there is no chance that I am imagining it is me he's sketching). Another day he used pencils in shades of blue and a touch of green when he drew my eyes on his notebook instead of taking notes over Immanuel Kant. This guy was definitely paying attention to details.

Now, this might not sound bad to some people. And it wouldn't have creeped me out so bad if it hadn't been for one thing: the guy never talked to me. Not once. We sat next to each other in class every day for 4 months, and he drew me each day, but he never said one word to me. He filled half a notebook with pictures of me, but never said "Hi." (Of course, it didn't help the creep-factor that he drew me EVERY SINGLE DAY!)

One day, about halfway through the semester, I thought about letting him know that I had seen him drawing me, and that I thought he was talented. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. He never knew that I had seen him sketching me.
Towards the end of the semester, I decided that I was going to ask him for one of the pictures of me; I figured that he wouldn't mind losing one picture out of dozens, and like I said, they were pretty good pictures. I wanted a souvenir! But as luck would have it, the artist did not show up on the last day of classes, so I never got the chance.

What do you think: Am I being paranoid and making too big of a deal out of this? Does anyone else think it's creepy that this guy drew me everyday for four months, yet never talked to me (even though there were several opportunities)? Would you have had the courage to talk to him and let him know that you'd seen the sketches he had of you? As always, let me know what you think. I can't wait to see what you have to say about this situation.

It's a New Life for Me, and I'm Feeling Good

I've had a lot of time to think recently, not about anything in particular, but about all things. One recurring thought is based on the actions of other people and their motivations behind those actions. I've noticed that a lot of people seem to be "looking out for number one" so to speak, and only doing what benefits them, no matter what the outcome is for anyone else. There are those who perform good actions, but only when they believe that they will have something good happen to them in return. While I understand the notion of Quid Pro Quo, I'm not sure that I agree with it completely. Personally, I think that people should be good because it is the right thing to do. We should be good for the sake of being good.

Now, I don't want to start off on the wrong foot;  this is not an angry post, and this is not me telling you that you are a terrible person for acting a certain way. That isn't the case at all. I'm just writing down a few things that I have noticed while people watching. While writing this, I am actually laying upside down in comfy pants (thanks to Mark) with the fan on and listening to my Happy Music playlist. There is no way that I could be angry when writing this post. Honest.

Let's start with an anecdotal background, shall we...
Yesterday I had my hair cut and was able to donate 10 inches of hair to Locks of Love. For those of you who don't know, Locks of Love is a non-profit organization that donates hair pieces to children suffering from medical issues (http://www.locksoflove.org/). I was able to have my hair cut and feel pretty, as well as donate my hair to a child in need to help him/her feel pretty. I could have just let the hairdresser cut my hair and let it all fall to the floor, but since I was eligible to donate my hair to such a wonderful cause, I knew that I should do the right thing and help someone else out. I didn't think twice about it.
Later that evening, when I was telling a friend what I had done, she asked me a question that was completely unexpected: "Since you donated your hair, did you still have to pay for your haircut? I think that since you gave your hair to a little kid that you shouldn't have to pay for it..."
Like I said, that was completely unexpected. It had never occurred to me to ask for a free haircut because I was being nice and donating the hair being cut. I don't have that mindset of "I'll do something for you if you do something for me."I wasn't sure how to answer her question at first, but after a moment of giving her the nose-crinkled, squinty-eyed "Are you stupid...?" look, I calmly answered that, no, I hadn't asked about any discounts for donations. I paid for my haircut as I normally would have, and went on with the rest of my day.

Surely I cannot be the only person who would have acted this way. I am realistic and know that there are those who would have only given their hair to charity if they had received the free haircut, but I can't possibly be the only person to give such a donation without the pretense of getting something in return.

Let's expand the scenario. Giving old clothes to The Goodwill. Handing out spare change to collectors at stoplights. Donating canned goods to the Boy Scout Troop collecting for a homeless shelter downtown. Do other people just shrug them off because those organizations are not able to benefit the first person? I know that we live in a "Dog Eat Dog" world, but can't we just let the other dog cross the road without attacking him? Can't we let him go on about his life without taking all of his belongings for our own because they would improve our circumstances? Would it even be possible for us to help the other dog back to his house, even if he could not help us? (Now, I realize that I'm using a lot of play-on words here, but the point is still the same.)

I am not saying that I'm perfect and adhere to this thought at all times. I have my moments where I don't feel like taking care of myself, let alone helping everyone else out. But I do my best to help anyone that I can. I can't stand the thought that I was capable of helping a person better their life in some way, and I didn't do it because they couldn't give me anything in return.

Am I being too naive to think that people should want to help each other for absolutely no reason? Am I being a simpleton because I think that people should act out of goodness instead of what they could get in return? Am I being unrealistic in expecting people to go out of their way to help another person? I know that helping other people takes time, money, energy and other resources away from the person doing the helping, but does this mean that people should take care of themselves an no one else? Let me know what you think. I'm seriously interesting in finding out what other people do, how they act, and if I'm the only person who believes this way.

Don't Talk to Me Like I'm Stupid!

I wouldn't say that I'm difficult to get along with. I'm an open-minded person who can respect that people are different and experience life in different ways. I'm one of THE MOST EMPATHETIC people you will ever encounter. However, there is one major reason that you and I will not get along: if you treat people badly. I absolutely hate when people are rude to one another. I can't stand it. And there are all types of "rude" so be careful. You can slander their name, get physically rough with them, ignore them and make it seem as if they don't exist. This episode of Ranting With Katelyn pertains to the issue of talking down to someone, though.

I know that I'm 22 years old. I know that I have not gone out and explored every aspect of the world. I know that I'm not the smartest, the bravest, the prettiest, or the best at everything. At anything for that matter. I know all of that. I also know that I am a good person and put my best effort forth on everything I do. I may not be as old as you and have the same worldly experiences; I may not have the Doctorate Degree that you have, but this in no way gives you the right to talk-down to me.

This idea that some people have of themselves as being better than everyone around them is absolutely ridiculous. Let me repeat that last part. Absolutely Ridiculous. If you think that you are so important that you get to belittle those around you because they aren't of the same status (however you might measure that), then you have another thing coming. The homeless man, the single mom, the lawyer. None of these people  are more important than anyone else, and none of them deserve to feel degraded.

I don't like seeing people mistreated and talked-down to. I really hate it when people start talking to me in this way. As soon as a person switches on the condescending-tone, I can literally feel my blood pressure rise. I have to clench my fists and force a smile onto my face so that I don't go Crazy-White-Girl on them. In fact, this has happened so many times lately that I'm half-afraid that I will have a heart attack because my blood pressure stays so high.
My recent endeavors have led to meet with many new people over the last few months. During this time most people ask me what I'm doing with my time. I mention that I have recently graduated from Eastern Kentucky University with a Bachelor's degree in Sociology. This is when the condescending-tone-switch is flipped. "What are you going to do with that? Shouldn't you have picked a major that would help you do something with your life? How can you have a real career with a degree like that?"
I didn't choose a course of study that was automatically transferable to "real-world" jobs (such as nursing, or teaching); however, I choose a field that I enjoy. I like people-watching and understanding why groups of people act the way they do. And that is something I can use in any setting. So, while my degree is not up to your standard, take comfort in knowing that I didn't ask for your opinion or approval when I decided what to do with my life.

That brings me to my next point...

After I say that I have just graduated, the follow-up question is always "What are you doing career-wise?" Don't get me wrong, I don't mind answering that question. I have no problem telling people that I am working to pay off my student loans, but am not entirely sure what I will do after that. What grinds my gears is that those people go back to their condescending-tone and talk to me like I have an IQ of 12 simply because I do not have precise career ambitions. When they ask me what I wanted to be "when I grew up" [and that's another thing I hate: I'm grown. Just because I'm younger than you doesn't mean that I am an infant and incapable of doing things on my own] and I answer them honestly (1 because I hate lying, and 2 because I'm really bad at lying) by saying that the only long-term life choice I've ever had was to be a Momma, they laugh. That's right. They ask me a question, I answer, and they laugh at me. I don't care who you are, if someone laughed at your life ambitions, no matter what they may be, I'm fairly certain that you would be upset, and rightfully so! I express that I want to have children of my own and take care of them: love them, make them laugh, dry their eyes after they have cried, and teach them how to be a good person, and the rest of the world scoffs. They purse their lips into a smug smirk believing that they are better than I am, raise an eyebrow at how ridiculous they think I am being, and saunter off because they consider themselves a better person for the simple fact that they have an "actual career." This mindset of being better than someone, especially based on employment, makes me fighting mad. Just because you don't understand what is important in another person's life does not give you the right to talk-down to them or make them feel inferior. No. Just no. Once again, I didn't ask your permission about how to live my life, nor did I ask for your comments about it. I answered the question you asked me, and should not have to defend myself to your criticisms.

Even just writing about this gets me mad. I........I don't.....I don't even know what else to say. There is no reason to talk to anyone like they are stupid. You might not understand the reasons behind their life choices, and you might not agree with the decisions they make. But that does not give you the right to belittle anyone. If you do, it will anger the people around you,and ultimately make them trust and respect you less. Also, if you do this to anyone and I am around to see it, I will call you out on it. Don't make me do that to you. I promise it won't be pretty. It will end looking something like this: 

What do you think? Am I being too touchy about this? What is your opinion about me wanting to be a Momma? What bothers you most when people start talking to you like you're stupid? How do you handle the situation? Let me know what you think.